Creating new holidays

Celebration time?

I've been thinking a bit about the growth of special 'days' and more specifically, what kind of days are worth noting. You see a lot of this sort of thing on Twitter. They may be geeky jokes, but here are a few I like and think we should adopt as national holidays.

Pi Day – 3 March. 3.14 is the American way of laying out the date and also the approximation of Pi, the infinite number. Best way to celebrate: eat a pie, I guess.

The next two holidays bring to mind the confusion in Futurama between the Star Trek Wars and the Star Wars Trek.

5 April is First Contact Day, because in the Star Trek future-vision this is the date when Humans meet Vulcans for the first time, while testing a hyperdrive. The tests took place in Bozeman, Montana, which is also the place in The Big Bang Theory where Sheldon Cooper moves to after he decides Pasadena is too unsafe.

Less than a month later is of course, Star Wars Day. 4 May is a random date that relies on a pun (May the Fourth be With You). As you can see from the link, Disney are doing their best to use May the Fourth as an excuse to push merchandise. (Like they need an excuse!) In the last couple of years, the celebration has spilled over to the following day as well, now known as The Revenge of the 5th. Which looks a bit like Sith and references one of the dismal prequels.

Also slightly random is Towel Day, which is on the 25 May for convoluted reasons. Towel Day is in honour of Douglas Adams, who wrote The Hitch-Hikers Guide to the Galaxy, which suggests all hitch-hikers do their utmost to have a towel on them at all times while travelling. Observing the day is very simple: Carry a towel with you all day. 25 May is also celebrated as 'Geek Pride Day' because it was the day Star Wars was first released on in 1977). It was also the date of 'Wear the Lilac Day' after the Ankh-Morpork revolution in Terry Pratchett’s Discworld books, which feels more significant now that Terry Pratchett has passed away. 

Like Pi Day there is also Mole Day on 23 October, which isn't to do with the burrowing mammals, but is another maths thing.

You don't just have to have annual days. There are nine Square Root Days every century, occurring on the following dates:

• 1/1/01
• 2/2/04
• 3/3/09
• 4/4/16 - meaning there is one this year!
• 5/5/25
• 6/6/36
• 7/7/49
• 8/8/64
• 9/9/81

So, maybe we'll get together to celebrate on the ninth of September 2081, if we make it that far. I will be 105 by then, and can't promise to remember what we should be celebrating.

Brooklyn Nine Nine - Series 3 and it's getting relationshippy, hmmm....

I'm a huge fan of Brooklyn Nine Nine. I think it's true to say I laughed out loud at least once during every episode of the first two series. Andy Samberg as Jake Peralta is brilliant at delivering witty lines and the cast around him are equally good at playing comedy straight.

But season 3 has just started and I fear it is heading into the same kind of trouble that has plagued other good sitcoms before it. It's getting relationshippy.

I love these guys

Jake and Amy are now an item. Season 2 ended with them kissing and then a cliff-hanger. They are now trying to work out the relationship. The problem is that in sitcom-world, unrequited love, or relationships being thwarted is always more interesting than when the mismatched, oft-thwarted lovers finally get together.

For evidence: even though everyone wanted Ross and Rachel to get together, the relationship was not the opportunity for comedy that the preamble had been, with Ross dreamy-eyed over an oblivious Rachel and hating her boyfriend, whoever that was in any given episode. Similarly, while how Monica and Chandler got together was funny, their being together was less funny. Friends went from being slick and smart to being schmaltzy and almost unwatchable when it got relationshippy.

Just about everyone who loved Frasier will agree that it went rapidly downhill once Niles and Daphne's unrequited romance was requited. Again, the trick to that comedic genius was Niles being in love with Daphne and her not knowing about it, even though everyone else did. Putting them together would have been the perfect way to end the show, because, realistically, it's not worth watching it after they got together.

The same dynamic of lovesick dolt and oblivious girl is what made Leonard and Penny so enjoyable on-screen in the early years of The Big Bang Theory. That show has gradually married or paired off its four main male characters now. Hopefully they will learn from Frasier and make Sheldon and Amy's inevitable wedding the finale.

We've even seen a similar problem in the otherwise epic Parks & Recreation. They effectively had to bin off Ann and Chris as quickly as possible after they got hitched because they were no longer interesting. And it's a wonder that Leslie and Ben's nuptials didn't sour the whole thing too. Except the real dynamic there was always Leslie and Ron rather than her romantic relationship, so maybe that was the thing that saved it.

The thing is that relationships themselves are inherently settled, while the best comedy comes from unpredictability. That's why Joey was the only character from Friends for whom a spin-off series could possibly work. Comedy is also rooted in pathos. We feel for the love-struck Niles or Ross more than the loved-up versions of themselves, because we feel their pain and share their hope.

I've said before how brave the writers and cast of Seinfeld were to quit at the top of their game, when they were still the number one comedy in America (and possibly the planet). Season 9 is still one of the best seasons of Seinfeld. But it's telling that none of the main characters are anywhere near a serious relationship, except for Elaine - although her relationship with Puddy could only be described as disastrous. If Jerry or George had genuinely settled down the comedy would have slowly dissipated away. (Of course, George had a near miss, but that doomed relationship became a hilarious millstone around his neck in later years.)

So, will Brooklyn Nine Nine buck the trend? A lot of the humour in the first two series came from Jack and Amy sparking off each other and bickering. Now they profess feelings for each other. Can this still be funny? (It's the same issue Modern Family will face now that Hayley and Andy are officially together - we will have to wait and see there too.) I hope the writers can avoid the relationship pitfall, because Brooklyn Nine Nine is arguably the best thing on TV right now (at least until Elementary comes back) and I really hope they can pull off a third amazing series.

The Muppets - a glowing review

There is always a danger that a reboot is going to mess up a franchise or ruin childhood memories. We had some trepidation going to see The Muppets. Thankfully, our fears were unwarranted.

My main comment about this film is that it is so nice to finally see a new film starring old characters that is not a knowing, smart-arsed, mockery of the original. This is a respectful homage to the original Muppet Show and films, and recaptures the ethos of those movies. I am so used to cynicism in movies these days, this unabashed celebration of something that was ground-breaking in its day was really refreshing.

The rest of the audience seemed to think so too. We were in a full screen with hardly any kids and there was a lot of laughter.

Yes, the plot was a bit weak. It felt like the ending was a bit abrupt. I’m not really sure the bad guy worked. But generally, there was much to love about this. In no particular order…

The references to being in a movie – just like the old movies always had.

Re-uniting the Muppet gang in the same order and from the same sort of obscure locations that they were gathered from in the first movie.

Fozzie’s dressing room in Reno.

The set-dressing – Kermit’s mug on the desk from Muppet Show days, a picture on the wall of Jim Henson.

Beauregard’s appearance.

Dave Grohl’s cameo – keep an eye out for him.

Choosing to use a montage to speed things up, followed by travelling “by map”.

Camilla and the Chickens’ musical number.

The 80s robot using his mo-dem to help in the search.

Mary’s song as the rain started to fall on the window, and the subsequent pull-away shot.

Jim Parsons (Sheldon from The Big Bang Theory) turning up unexpectedly mid-song.

The sell-out version of Rainbow Connection performed by Muppet wannabes.

A great sub-plot featuring Animal that meant he was more than just a one-joke character (for once).

Kermit’s song reminiscing about the old times.

Jack Black playing the least annoying film part he’s played in years.

Pepe the Prawn’s leather jacket in his cameo.

And Kermit’s first appearance, haloed in light and accompanied by an angelic choral arrangement.

Jongudmund's rating: 10/10 (for old time's sake)

Torchwood goes west (big mistake)

Although other people have said some favourable things about the new Torchwood series that started last Thursday, I was less impressed.

First off, this was an 'establishing' episode that only really existed to take you to the next episode and explain how Captain Jack, Gwen et al end up in America. As that kind of episode it was done to an okay level. Quite why a black ops helicopter was trying to blow the crap out of a house on a beach in Wales where Gwen and Rhys were holed up was never adequately explained, but presumably it will be. Also the casting of Bill Pullman (who has aged significantly it seems) as a creepy child-murderer could well be inspired (and is a bold role for anyone to take on).

But - and it's a big but - nothing actually happened or got resolved in the episode. There was one exceptionally gross scene where they detached a head from a barely living charred corpse, and the head remained alive. But no answers. Only a very long teaser for the rest of the season.

I don't mind TV series having story arcs, although too-rigid story arcs killed The X-Files, Alias, even The West Wing in the end. The problem an episode that is all about the arc and nothing else really happens is boring in the extreme. Exhibit A: those X-Files episodes that just seemed to be mysterious characters sitting round tables smoking cigarettes talking about codenamed projects. Snore off! You want to see some kind of conclusion in an episode, even if the conclusion is open-ended so the bad guy can return to wreak havoc later.

For me, the emphasis on a story arc instead of having a story is a minus for the new Torchwood.

So is the relocation of the series to the USA. I recognise why they're doing this - the American TV audience. It's the same reason the news series of Doctor Who unnecessarily kicked off in Monument Valley in Utah instead of the Rhondda. But it misses the point of what made Torchwood interesting to start with.

If I wanted to watch overblown science fiction in an American setting I could tune in to repeats of the X-Files, or watch more of the new series of V. There are enough good programmes made in America already to satisfy my lust for all things American - Castle, Chuck, The Big Bang Theory, to name a few.

What made Torchwood fun was that it was set in Cardiff, and, okay, that might be because I live in Cardiff and location-spotting was amusing. But it also set it apart from just about anything else in the schedule. Turning it into an American-based drama removes the one thing that made it a must watch for me. It will be hard now to pick it out from a line-up of similar, high-end, slickly-produced, drama serials.

I think trading the dorkiness of being based in a little big city that few people have ever heard of for trans-Atlantic bright lights is a big mistake. So far no amount of aliens, government duplicity, mysterious time travellers, or poor TV scheduling have managed to kill Torchwood off.

But this decision might.

Best bits of 2010, part 2 - TV

I always say that I don't watch a lot of telly, but thinking about this haas made me realise that maybe I watch more than I think I do.

So what were the highlights of 2010? Well in no particular order, they would have to be:

Camo Daleks with Union flags beneath the eyepieces in Doctor Who - the best Daleks ever. Although then they were blown up at the end of the episode by "proper" Daleks in primary colours that looked crap. Still, a Dalek asking if the Doctor would like a cup of tea was awesome.

In fact the series of Dr Who with Matt Smith replacing David Tennant was really quite good, although I wasn't too fussed about the over-arching storyline.

Season 3 of Chuck had some good moments too. The first half of the season was fairly awkward, but the last few episodes were gripping. I watched the series on DVD (thanks, Connor, for lending it to me) as it was shown on Monday nights when I was on youth. There is a danger with series like Chuck that it will get overwhelmingly silly after a while, yet so far it has managed to avoid that.

Season 3 of Outnumbered was very good, as to be expected. This is the one comedy show that has me biting my knuckles with embarrassment on a regular basis. The stand-out episode for me was one where Sue's incredibly annoying, flighty sister brought her American self-help guru husband over to meet the family. Karen, the little girl in the show, mercilessly questioned him until he cracked. It was awesome and painful to watch at the same time.

There was also a brilliant joke that was trailed extensively before the season - when Karen is told that a woman can be any shape or size she wants to be. Karen turns her head on one side and says 'What about a hexagon?'

Two new shows from America that are airing on Sky 1 seem to be producing the goods. I haven't seen too many episodes of The Middle, but what I have seen has made me laugh. And then there is Raising Hope, made by the same team who produced My Name is Earl, and very funny. Like MNIE, the central cast of misfits and losers are cringe-inducing, yet loveable. They have good hearts and that's what makes them work as character.

Raising Hope is also one of the best stories of unrequited love I've seen in a while. Jimmy's attempts to woo Sabrina capture that sense of desperation about not trying to look too desperate; of wanting someone but trying so hard not to scare them off. It is poetry.

A love story of a different kind has shown up in the latest series of The Big Bang Theory. Sheldon has a girlfriend, possessing equal brainiac weirdness as him. I quite like 'Big Bang' (especially as the Barenaked Ladies composed the theme song!), and it seems to be maturing quite nicely as a sitcom, with no signs of flagging yet.

But there is one stand-out TV moment of the year for me - from the second series of Castle, itself a great show despite being a detective series. I normally avoid detective shows, but this has enough quirky charm to keep me interested.

It stars Nathan Fillion, one-time star of the great Firefly. One episode of Castle begins with Fillion, as Rick Castle, dressed in his old Firefly garb for Hallowe'en. His daughter Alexis asks him what he is meant to be.

"Space Cowboy," he says.

"Didn't you wear that outfit, like, five years ago," she asks condescendingly.

"Yeah," he admits, before saying in a small voice, "but I really liked it."

That is probably the best TV crossover inside joke I have ever seen. It was brilliant. Definitely my highlight of the year.

TV highlights of 2009

The reason for doing this a couple of days into 2010 is that I can talk about David Tennant's last foray as Doctor Who, which occurred on New Year's Day.

Overall I thought the 'double episode' was a bit disappointing. The first half saw a resurrected Master, brought back to life for reasons that were never very clearly explained, and who was some kind of flesh-eating creature to boot, and the plot seemed to build to one joke: the establishment of the "Master Race" as humanity was turned into 6 billion copies of the Master.

The second bit was better, with some more humour, Timothy Dalton as the psychopathic Time Lord leader Rassilon (nice nod to Dr Who lore there), and a bit of pathos. I personally thought the ending was too drawn out, as the Doctor toured time to say goodbye to old friends. And they blatatly ripped off the cantina scene in Star Wars at one point. Still, it was nice to see a Sontaran for a few brief seconds, although how Mickey and Martha became married freelance alien hunters opened up a whole new can of worms.

It's hard to know where Dr Who, with a new Doctor, will go from here, and I have to admit the past year's offerings haven't impressed me much. So what, TV-wise would I say was great about 2009?

I really liked the adaptation of Day Of The Triffids shown just after Christmas. I'm always a bit wary when I watch an adaptation of a book I love. But this one worked for me. True, some bits changed - the convent scene was different, Eddie Izzard's character Torrance was more developed, the tribal mask back story was grafted in along with the hero's Dad. But overall, I think the update worked well.

The thing about Triffids the book is that it's a slow build. Triffids kill people and then wait for the flesh to rot before they eat them. In the TV show dead bodies were absorbed rapidly through rooty tendrils, but I guess that made more effective TV. Also, and a huge bonus point in my book, the Triffids were never aliens originally, so their discovery in darkest Zaire and subsequent breeding for Triffid oil was much more in line with the original story.

So, I thought it worked, although the critics lashed out at it. But as a fan of John Wyndham, it caught the sense of much of his work - that actually we have the capacity as humans to be the architects of our own downfall. That message was nicely played out in this most recent TV work.

I also loved the second series of The Big Bang Theory (the third series has just started too). This is the most recent comedy from creative genius Chuck Lorre (responsible for Dharma and Greg and Two and a Half Men), and ticks the boxes for me of nerdy cultural references and some genuinely funny moments.

I liked the episode where the four geeks met Summer Glau (the girl Terminator from The Sarah Connor Chronicles) on a train and conspired to talk to her. The show has set a high standard for itself, but the episodes of series 3 I've seen so far seem to show a show that is improving with time.

But my favourite telly show of 2009 has to be the second series of Chuck. If you haven't seen Chuck the premise is very silly - Chuck, played by Zachary Levy, is a computer nerd who has a top secret military computer ('the Intersect') downloaded into his brain. He subsequently needs protecting from various bad guys by two federal agents, one of whom is the very lovely Yvonne Strahovski, and the other the snarly Adam Baldwin. And every week something implausibly ridiculous happens that causes chaos in Chuck's life.

The first series of Chuck was cut short by the Hollywood writer's strike, so series 2 is the first full-length one. It got a little bit dafter as it went on, with a huge undercover evil operation (headed up by Chevy Chase no less!) that reminded me of Alias. But it was entertaining every week and series 3 is coming down the track. Yipee.

Other stuff I've enjoyed this year:
The QI Christmas special, and QI generally
Mock the Week, even after Frankie left
Rules of Engagement (import on Comedy Central) has had it's moments
'2 Good, 2 Bad' on Match of the Day 2 - possibly the funniest regular bit on any regular sports programme
Major League Baseball coverage on ESPN America (after the demise of Setanta Sports)

I didn't bother with Big Brother this year (who did?) and I tried to tune out the X Factor after the first couple of weeks. And, frankly, I was too busy having a life to get into any of the 'reality' shows.

5 most annoying rip-offs

I’ve been thinking about how easily we get duped into paying for stuff we don’t need. Here are five of the things I think are the most annoying ways people try and rip you off.

1) Warranties. I recently went to buy a new TV remote from Argos, because Irony Boy had baptized our previous remote with his cup of tea after his wife unexpectedly grabbed his balls (long story), and the cashier offered me a 3-year warranty. On a £6 remote control.* What is the point of a warranty on a £6 remote? Especially as I’ve banned Irony Boy from having hot drinks in the living room any more.

2) Vitamin supplements. The best description of vitamin pills I’ve ever heard was on The Big Bang Theory when Sheldon described them as “the ingredients for very expensive urine”. It’s true. You literally pi$$ away your money.

3) Those stupid magazine part works. ‘Build a solar system’ by paying three quid a week for two years, by which time you’ll be heartily fed up with your solar system model and will probably have lost half the bits anyway. Seriously, who buys these? The best one I ever saw was ‘build your own medieval village’ - the first week you got two bricks and six roof tiles.

4) Consolidation loans. Thankfully, the adverts for these have virtually disappeared from TV. Three cheers for the credit crunch. But when they were on they gave me the urge to kill Carol Vorderman and end her patronisingly inane ‘maths’. Of course it’s ‘cheaper per month’ to pay a debt off over 15 years than six months. But is it cheaper overall, Carol? Is it? No.

5) Blu-ray or whatever the hell will come after Blu-ray. Yay - go out and buy all the films you own on yet another format. Baa, sheep, baa. The same applies to MP3s. I own it already - give me the new version free, you wallet-raping conmen.

*NB - this is probably my favourite juxtaposition of a long rambling sentence with a short ungrammatical sentence I’ve ever written.

Costly compost

There's a line in The Big Bang Theory where Sheldon tells Penny that buying multi-vitamins is a waste of time because at best "you're buying the ingredients for very expensive urine". I'm beginning to feel the same way about compost.

Back in the summer, when I went to our fancy new recycling centre (aka 'the tip') to collect my bargain shiny new compost bin, I was quite excited. No more wasteful binning of potato peelings or other vegetable waste. Soon, I'd have nice fresh (you know what I mean) home-made compost to use in the garden or to give to my friend Nia who runs an allotment.

But it doesn't really work that way. I've discovered that actually the majority of vegetable matter that goes into the bin isn't veg peelings. It's unwanted veg. For example, half a bag of chopped and ready-to-eat salad, some past-their-prime apples, a bit of cucumber which has gone a bit too far along the road to cucumber smoothie. The list goes on.

Now when I buy an organic veg box, or some non-organic, yet convenient, veggies from Asda, there's a little part of me that thinks 'Am I just spending good money on compost ingredients?'