Showing posts with label magazines. Show all posts
Showing posts with label magazines. Show all posts

Monday, August 10, 2009

Male or female brain

For a reason slightly more complicated to explain than I can be bothered with, someone left a copy of Glamour magazine on my desk (oh, okay, it was because it had an interesting article in it about the negative effects of porn), and it contained a quiz to see if you, the reader, had a 'male' or 'female' brain.

Turned out I was in the middle section with a brain that combined a bit of both. Apparently that can work to my advantage as I can supposedly relate to both sexes. I'm not sure about that.

T'was an interesting article. Later on in the mag was a 'beachwear' section. I have to say my female brain kicked in as I was looking at a very attractive woman in a crochet swimsuit. "That's going to shrink in the wash," I thought.

Thursday, January 29, 2009

5 most annoying rip-offs

I’ve been thinking about how easily we get duped into paying for stuff we don’t need. Here are five of the things I think are the most annoying ways people try and rip you off.

1) Warranties. I recently went to buy a new TV remote from Argos, because Irony Boy had baptized our previous remote with his cup of tea after his wife unexpectedly grabbed his balls (long story), and the cashier offered me a 3-year warranty. On a £6 remote control.* What is the point of a warranty on a £6 remote? Especially as I’ve banned Irony Boy from having hot drinks in the living room any more.

2) Vitamin supplements. The best description of vitamin pills I’ve ever heard was on The Big Bang Theory when Sheldon described them as “the ingredients for very expensive urine”. It’s true. You literally pi$$ away your money.

3) Those stupid magazine part works. ‘Build a solar system’ by paying three quid a week for two years, by which time you’ll be heartily fed up with your solar system model and will probably have lost half the bits anyway. Seriously, who buys these? The best one I ever saw was ‘build your own medieval village’ - the first week you got two bricks and six roof tiles.

4) Consolidation loans. Thankfully, the adverts for these have virtually disappeared from TV. Three cheers for the credit crunch. But when they were on they gave me the urge to kill Carol Vorderman and end her patronisingly inane ‘maths’. Of course it’s ‘cheaper per month’ to pay a debt off over 15 years than six months. But is it cheaper overall, Carol? Is it? No.

5) Blu-ray or whatever the hell will come after Blu-ray. Yay - go out and buy all the films you own on yet another format. Baa, sheep, baa. The same applies to MP3s. I own it already - give me the new version free, you wallet-raping conmen.

*NB - this is probably my favourite juxtaposition of a long rambling sentence with a short ungrammatical sentence I’ve ever written.