The big 2014 Christmas Card Audit

This is the third year I've done this (see 2013 and 2012), so I'm beginning to get observable trends. This year the big thing I noticed is that yet again religious-themed cards rarely featured the word Christmas. Small things that stuck out included a fund-raising card for a political cause (the Countryside Alliance), the emergence of Owls as a theme, and the return of dogs in Santa hats.

New categories are marked with an asterisk And here are the numbers...

Total number of cards: 91 (down from 97 in 2013 and 104 in 2012)
Hand-made / home-produced cards: 7 (no change)
Cards with magnets on: 0 (no change)
*Cards with detachable tree decorations: 1

Cards sold in aid of charity: 47 (up from 44 in 2013 and 42 in 2012)
Of which...
Traidcraft cards: 8 (up from 5 last year)
Oxfam cards: None (for the second year running)
Main charity represented: Traidcraft
Total number of charities represented: 40 (down from 62 in 2013 and the same as 2012)
Marks and Spencer cards: 6 (down from 12 in 2013)
*Notable newcomer: RNLI (3 cards)
*'Political' fund-raising cards: 1 (Countryside Alliance)

Themes
Religious-themed cards: 27 ( down from 33 in 2013 and 37 in 2012)
Cards featuring the Nativity: 18 (up from 15)
Christmas story 'characters':
Three kings: 2 (down from 5 in 2013 and 9 in 2012)
The shepherds: 3 (down from 4 in 2013 but one more than in 2012)
The star of Bethlehem: 0 (down from 2 in 2013)

Other themes 
'Peace': 2 (stays the same)
Santa: 7 (down from 10 in 2013, but up from 6 in 2012)
Penguins: 4 (up from 3 in 2013, but down from 5 in 2012)
Various cartoon bears: 4 (up from 2 in 2013 but way down from the 12 bear high point in 2012)
Dogs in Santa Hats: 1 (up from 0 last year)
Deer/reindeer: 4 (down from 6)
Christmas decorations: 5 (up from 4)
Christmas trees: 4 (down from 5)
Robins: 4 (up from 3)
Mistletoe: 0 (down from 2)
Winter scene/scenery: 14 (double the 2013 total of 7)
*Snowmen: 5
*Owls: 3

Messages
Cards that mention 'Christmas' on the front: 33 (down from 35 in 2013 and 45 in 2012)

Conclusions and trends
Despite fewer cards received, many of the categories stayed pretty constant. The big change was the number of cards featuring winter scenes and scenery. They ranged from country churches covered in snow, through to the cute dog character Boofle, out sledging. I was very pleased to see a return in the Dogs wearing Santa Hats category, as I feel it captures the essence of Christmas. Although the overall total was down, the number of cards we received that raised funds for charity went up and percentage wise the balance towards fund-raising cards was much higher.What nice people we know!

Once I've done this for 2015 I will have four years worth of data and by then I can start creating graphs and stuff. So roll on January 2016!

The long coat – a popular choice for scoundrel starship captains and space adventurers

It occurred to me the other day as I watched a small bit of Farscape on one of the outlying satellite channels that long coats seem a popular choice in outer space.

This is possibly because they swish behind you a bit like a cape without being as obviously dorky as a cape. In several deep-space adventures capes are only work by bad guys, so there’s that to contend with as well.

So, where did this all start? Thinking about it, Han Solo wears a long coat when he leads the rebel strike team on Endor. Admittedly this is a badly-fitting semi-camo trench-coat that looks like it was bought in a mall somewhere, but it’s the first long coat worn by a sci-fi hero that I can think of.

No one else in the team wears a coat like Han’s. He seems to favour his own gear over military issue. He does the same thing on Hoth, wearing a blue parka, while Luke wears the same uniform as all the other rebels. On Endor, Leia and Luke are dressed like the rest of the team. Han obviously feels the need to be flashy and different, by wearing his own ‘Big Easy’ style trench-coat.

Moving on to the 90s and we have John Crichton, the main lead in Farscape, sporting a black leather coat that in the context of the show is part of a Peacekeeper uniform. Several of the Peacekeepers wear coats like this as well, so the long coat is well established in the series as something worn by heroes and villains.

John isn’t a Peacekeeper; he is a lost Earthman on a living spaceship surrounded by hostile aliens, some of whom become less hostile and eventually become his friends. I don’t know when in his adventures John started wearing this coat, but he looks good in it and that’s the main thing.

Moving on a few years to the early noughties and we have Firefly, a short-lived show that has gained a cult following (I love it to bits). The coat worn by ships’ captain / smuggler / former soldier Malcolm Reynolds is greatly significant – it’s a ‘Browncoat’, part of the uniform of the defeated separatist forces that Mal fought for.

Wearing the Browncoat is Mal’s sartorial declaration that the war may be over but he has not surrendered. The term Browncoat is part of the fan’s lectionary. Rarely has an item of clothing been so important to the functional make-up of a character, or a whole series.

And to bring this bang up to date, we have Star-Lord in Guardians of the Galaxy. Star-Lord has two really neat coats in the film: A long coat, worn in the bombastic opening sequence, and a neat short red leather jacket worn at other times.

Star-Lord’s long coat accentuates his swagger as he attempts to rob an abandoned bank vault at the beginning of the film. It’s a scene that defines the character – unafraid, resourceful, tricksy and fun. The coat helps greatly in the introduction to him.

Looking over the long-coat-wearing characters here, there are some major similarities between them. They are all fiercely independent. They all operate outside the law, while still being relatively moral in their actions. They have an internal code they live up to. They are brave, willing to take risks for a long-shot at rewards. They don’t take crap from anyone. They are handy in a fight, but would prefer to smart-talk their way out of trouble. They inspire loyalty in their followers or crew.

And they all wear long coats.

It’s something I’m going to bear in mind when I next go coat-shopping. 

Is the villain of the Guardians of the Galaxy film a cipher for Islamists?

This post has spoilers

In case you didn’t read my review of 2014, Guardians of the Galaxy was my favourite film for loads of reasons. I liked the characters. The story was fast-paced. It used retro-tastic songs to soundtrack action sequences. There were jokes.

But there is something that has niggled me slightly about it, and that’s the villain of the piece, Ronan the Accuser.

We first meet Ronan undertaking an arcane rite that is sacred to his people. He expands on this when he exposits in front of a captive, who he then kills. He is quickly described as a fanatic who won’t listen to the (presumably democratically elected) leaders of his race, the Kree, and has embarked on a personal mission to wipe out those who do not follow the ancient ways and traditions he has committed himself to.

He is basically a murderer with ambitions of genocide, setting out on a jihad.

Pertinent to that is the way he wear a head-dress that looks like the type traditionally worn in the Middle East.

I'm beginning to suspect that Ronan is a cipher for Islamist jihadis. Fanatics are the new villains in Hollywood – people motivated not by base human emotions like greed or vengeance, or compelled by their political creed to commit atrocities, but people who interpret their religion or tradition as mandating their terrible deeds.

Note that Ronan is not seen as typical member of the Kree. He is not under the control of the Kree government, which is both unable and unwilling to oppose him. This parallels our time where the fundamentalists have struck out on their own terror-strewn path - their interpretation of what 'true faith' looks like - that governments struggle to deal with because arguing over truth in religion is pretty much impossible.

Ronan’s religiously-inspired ruthlessness leads him to issue an order to execute every inhabitant of a prison that he invades with his followers. His aim is to wipe out all the life on Xandar, the home planet of the galactic police force, the Nova Corps. The Xandarians are heretics and blasphemers and must be wiped out.

While Guardians of the Galaxy was written and filmed a while before it was released in the summer, it does seem prescient in the way it parallels the rise of Islamic State, which is basically a rogue warlord engaging in genocide against different ethnic and religious groups. Both IS and Ronan have a scorched earth policy when it comes to destroying the infidel.

Consciously or not, Hollywood and comic books do tend to reflect and give voice to the wider concerns of our culture. At the moment, Western democracy feels threatened and powerless in the face of Islamist terrorism. Star-Lord speaks for us when he says he isn’t going to stand by and let innocent people perish. However, in real life we can’t distract fundamentalists with a dance-off while our genetically modified raccoon buddy removes their source of power.

My review of 2014 (movies, TV, music, books)

I didn’t blog much in 2014, but a lot happened and I want to post some kind of review of various ‘art’ highlights. So, here goes, my ‘Review of 2014’ blog post. First up, movies:

Best movie

Easily, Guardians of the Galaxy. It was unexpectedly funny. It was action-packed. It had a cracking musical soundtrack. The film was so good it even got me into buying comics for the first time since I was about 11. I like Rocket Racoon. Cathy likes Groot. It about sums us up.

Most unexpectedly good movie

The Book of Life. This was gorgeous animation, exploring themes of love and death and conquering your fears and atoning for wrongs. Easily the best animated film I’ve seen for ages, made with sumptuous rich colours that made it lovely.

Most disappointing movie

The Boxtrolls. Not enough about the trolls and a bit too much time spent with ghastly humans. The film was called the Boxtrolls and they were barely in it.  If I wanted a film with ghastly humans I’m sure I could find a better one.

Best scene in a movie

I’m going for Jennifer Lawrence’s meltdown in American Hustle when she screamed at Christian Bale that all she wanted was for him to love her. My heart ached at that scene. It’s just fantastic.

Now we’ve wrapped movies up, how about TV?

Best TV viewing of 2014

Brooklyn Nine Nine. I laughed out loud (literally out loud) at every single episode. Even Modern Family hasn’t managed that. The Thanksgiving episode just kept on getting funnier and funnier although my absolute favourite scene was when Jake Peralta was looking for a flat and saw one that was just a toilet in the middle of a bare expanse of concrete. And that wasn’t the worst thing about the flat.

Running Brooklyn Nine Nine a close second was Elementary. Johnny Lee Miller is just captivating. There was one episode where all he did was lean against a wall, but it was a lean of menace and disappointment and ennui and pensiveness. The man exudes the character just when he is leaning. The show is a belter too and it’s great fun trying to predict which of the people who have innocuously been presented to the viewer in the first ten minutes will turn out to be the murderer.

Most disappointing TV of 2014

Dr Who. The first episode had the Doctor claim he could “speak dinosaur” and somehow appear in a locked and sealed room. He is basically magic now. The second episode contained one of the most callous scenes I’ve ever seen in any TV show. The third episode was a dire spoof of Robin Hood films. I gave up then. I did see two episodes later on, but frankly the gubbins of the relationship triangle between the Doctor, Clara and whoever her boyfriend was, just got in the way of both the story and my will to live. I didn’t bother with the Christmas episode. My love for the show has waned that far.

Ok, so that’s TV, now for some music.

Best new sounds of 2014

Ward Thomas – From Where We Stand. The idea of Country music-singing twins from Hampshire sounds like a disaster but their music is great. I heard the single ‘Push for the Stride’ on Radio 2 and had to look it up straight away when I got home. Even better they are coming to Cardiff next year, playing The Globe on my birthday and we have tickets!

Best gig

Hard to choose this as we made it to six gigs this year, including Tony Wright at the cleanest rock club I have ever been to. (A guy came round putting people’s drinks on beermats as if they were coasters!) But probably the best gig was Darius Rucker on Cathy’s birthday. We travelled to Wolverhampton to see him and he was excellent, playing several old Hootie & the Blowfish tunes as well as his solo material. He finished with a cover of Champagne Supernova that was simply epic.

Best support act

I’m going to give this to Ariana and the Rose, who supported the Hoosiers at The Globe in Cardiff back in April. It’s a tough gig being a support act, but they were great, sounding a little bit like Garbage although not as grungy.

Best album I discovered in 2014

Bad Blood by Bastille. I kept hearing Pompeii on the music channels so put the album on my Amazon wish-list. Someone got it me for my birthday and I really liked the whole album. I was surprised to find Cathy did too. I came home one day and found she had put it on while washing up. It’s great driving music too. They are songs you can belt out at the top of your lungs if you want to.

One thing left, books...

Best fiction read this year

Eleanor Rigby by Douglas Coupland. It’s a toss up between this and Microserfs, also by Coupland, which actually made me cry at the end. But Eleanor Rigby edges it simply because it’s the only book I’ve ever read that is searingly honest about loneliness and how no one ever warns you how hard it is to live with feeling lonely. I love Douglas Coupland’s books. I have to put them down every few pages to let the ideas sink in.

Best non-fiction read this year

Soccernomics by Simon Kuper and Stefan Szymanski. This is a ‘freakonomics’ style exploration of footballs looking at certain assumptions, like do managers make much of a difference and do England under-achieve at World Cups. The exploration of how poverty prevents developing nations from being genuine global competitors is fascinating.

Ok, there you go, that was my year. How was yours.

What would a UKIP Britain look like?

UKIP are making the news. Putting aside all the more outlandish elements – like the major donor who thinks it should be illegal for women to wear trousers, or the councillor who thinks there’s a causal link between gay marriages and flooding, or the guy who thinks we should euthanize babies with Down’s Syndrome (these are all real things – Google them) – there is a chance of electoral success in 2015.

Certainly, what UKIP has done is drive an increasingly hostile political narrative around immigration. The way immigration is reported and the way immigrants are written about in the press is almost entirely negative. It’s as if wanting to live somewhere else is criminally immoral and anyone wanting to move overseas is a black-hearted monster. Which I guess is bad news for the one and half million British-born people sunning it up in Spain.

I have a stake in the immigration debate because my Grandmother was an immigrant. She met and married my Granddad while he was on active service during the war – getting married in 1945 before the war ended. She gave birth to my Mum just after coming to this country, in January 1946.

It was a difficult time to be an immigrant. Being Scandinavian, Grandma had an accent that sounded a bit German to many people. Many men had been killed in the war, so there was an imbalance in society meaning many women were unlikely to meet and marry someone. So there was resentment of a foreigner marrying a man, when men generally were in short supply. (My Grandma was told this.)

My Mum has told me that when she was little the other mums in her village wouldn’t let their children play with her. For no other reason than her mum (my Gran) was foreign.

These days we would call that racist. And rightly so, because it was.

But that racism is what I think of when I hear Nigel Farage braying on about immigrants. The narratives we listen to shape our thought patterns. If we really believe the wicked foreigners are after our jobs and our women and our comfortable lifestyles; if we think they are criminals and thieves, then that will shape how we respond to them.

Racism is subtle. We can easily find ourselves agreeing with comments like the one Nigel Farage made about not wanting to live next door to a family of Romanians. And the next thing is you’re not allowing your kids to play with their kids for no other reason than because you are racist.

And that’s what I think a UKIP Britain would look like. It’s sad so many people seem to think that would be a better place to live. I hoped people were better than that.

When people say ‘Please fund my experience of a lifetime’

I’m starting to get annoyed by some of the things people are contacting me about asking for ‘sponsorship’. Specifically, I’m annoyed by being asked to help them raise funds as they have an ‘experience of a lifetime’, usually in a far-flung exotic corner of the world.

Now, this is not a particular rant about short-term charity trips or missions. I have my doubts about the effectiveness of those, but they are often to less than glamorous places. One of my closest friends went to visit an orphanage in Uganda in the summer. A few years ago I contributed to somebody’s place when our church ran a soccer school with kids in Burkina Faso. So, I’m not entirely anti the idea of sponsoring someone on foreign travel.

But I think there’s a distinction between visiting an orphanage to produce a film about the kids there, to raise awareness and possibly funds back home, and, say, hiking up Kilimanjaro. Or walking the Great Wall of China. Or cycling from Boston to New York City. Or scaling Machu Picchu.

These aren’t particularly worthy endeavours in themselves. They are things that tourists do. And I don’t see why I should feel guilty about not ‘digging deep’ to support people doing them. In fact, the sheer shamelessness of people asking me to help fund their fancy holidays makes me want to go on a slapping spree.

I know, I know, it’s for charity. But charity would be better served if people didn’t fly halfway around the world and donated the equivalent money. It’s not for charity. It’s for you. If it was for charity you would do these things in this country. You can shave your head anywhere. I’ve known people brave the bracing waves of Barry Island on New Year’s Day. If you want to cycle from Boston to New York, you can do that without leaving Lincolnshire!

And I’d say, if you want to go do those things – climb Kilimanjaro, run the Great Wall, bike round the States, or see the sun rise over Incan pyramids – then go and do them. Go! Have a great time. Take lots of photos. This world is full of great experiences and you are allowed to experience them. You don’t have to dress it up as just doing it for a cause. You can just do it for the joy of doing it; realise your dream for nothing more than that.

Just, you know, pay for it yourself.

Dr Olivia's Guide to A&E

Enjoy this film folks - and keep your eye out for the patient with toothache!

The team I wanted to win the World Cup final won!

So, Germany won. It was a tense game, settled by a flash of brilliance from the youngest player on the field deep in extra time.

I'd wanted Germany to win from the outset. England were uninspiring from the off and, apart from the USA, there was no one else I really wanted to root for. In any given game I'd go for the underdog - which was tough when Germany went up against Algeria, a genuine underdog that divided my loyalties slightly.

But generally the best team won, playing the consistently best football of the tournament. They scored the most goals (helped by the crazy 7-1 thrashing of Brazil). Their totemic oldest striker broke the record for goals scored in finals. Their goalkeeper won the tacky-looking Golden Glove award. All round they performed at a level worthy of world champions.

They also have a young team that is still growing and maturing together. They have got to be favourites to win the European Championships in France in two years time, and I think they have every chance of retaining the World Cup in Russia in 2018.

But for now the World Cup is over and normality resumes. What will we watch now?

Sad times as Cathy takes down the World Cup wallchart!

Brazil 1 – Germany 7: Watching history being made in a World Cup semi-final

Previously I’ve blogged about how I wanted Germany to win the World Cup and about my antipathy towards Brazil. So, the semi-final had an edge for me, mainly because this was the test whether Germany were going to have their fragilities exposed in a harsh, partisan arena.

The general reaction to the result and the manner in which it was achieved has been a semi-stunned ‘Wow’. A lot of people thought Brazil were poor (for Brazil), and that Germany were good, but this was the kind of epic walloping nobody ever thought possible.

The sequence of the German second to fifth goals was so fast the TV replays couldn’t keep up. They would cut from the slow motion to real-time and the Germans were passing it into the net again. It reached a point where the Germans seemed to stop celebrating. It felt awkward; embarrassing even.

So, what went so ballistically wrong for Brazil. Here are my thoughts:

1.  They weren’t very good. This sounds simplistic, but you can achieve quite a bit in football without being particularly skilful as long as you are well-organised and calm (see the USA in this World Cup for an example of that). Brazil weren’t a very good team, but they didn’t know that. So they were poorly organised and hot-headed, particularly David Luiz, who has to be one of the most wayward defenders ever.
2.  Brazil let the emotion get to them. From the way they held up a shirt as a tribute to the injured Neymar in a way that looked like they were mourning the fallen war dead, through to the bellowing of the national anthem’s second verse once the music had stopped, the team were being governed by their emotions. The game-plan, if they had one, went south early on, people forgot what they were meant to be doing, and they couldn’t compose themselves once the Germans started tapping the goals in.
3. They couldn’t regain their balance. Losing five goals in the first 30 minutes is terrible. But the reason Brazil let in so many is that after the third goal – a wonder strike from Toni Kroos – they didn’t get their heads together. They looked to be in shock, uncoordinated, almost in denial of what was happening.
4. Germany were ruthless. Although it has subsequently emerged that the German players decided not to push too hard in the second half, there was no hesitation in the way they took advantage of Brazil’s multiple failings before the break. Some teams might have eased up earlier, but Germany weren’t screwing up in the semi-finals again.

This match was historic. Brazil’s biggest ever defeat. It was the biggest ever victory in a World Cup semi-final. Someone said that it was Brazil’s first home defeat for 25 years. Miroslav Klose’s goal made him the all-time top scorer in World Cups, overtaking the Brazilian legend, Ronaldo – just to add extra despondency to the Brazilian defeat.

There’s a sense when you watch an event like this unfold, that you get the feeling you are watching something a bit special. It’s a moment that will become iconic in the history of the World Cup and maybe football itself. I can’t remember the last game that felt this way – maybe the England semi-final against West Germany in 1990, the one with Gazza’s tears. Like that, this game has now been burned into my memory. A historical moment I was lucky enough to see.

World Cup secret confession: I'm supporting Germany

It started in South Africa in 2010. The team of the tournament for me weren't the Spanish game-stranglers with their tiki-taka yawn-off brand of non-football. It was Germany.

They played with verve and vim, bursting forward with pace to hit teams on the break. They hammered England. They stuffed Argentina. Then they were stifled by Spain, who won with a header at a corner from a defender coming from deep. I was gutted.

So this time around, I wanted Germany to do well. Even though this left me very conflicted in the second round when they faced genuine underdogs Algeria. I have that compulsion to support the little guys against the behemoth. But anyway, they won.

How did this happen? When I was a kid I, along with everyone else, regarded the Germans as the ultimate villains. (Argentina threatened their position as most hated international opponents for a while. Maradona's hand of God and all that. But it always came back to the Germans.)

There was the penalty shoot-out in Italia 90 and at Euro 96. There was Jurgen Klinnsman who was your typical continental diving cheat in the late 80s and early 90s although he has redeemed himself in later life. There was just the boring, automatic progression to final after final. The moment of respite that we all enjoyed was the defeat to Bulgaria in USA 94.

Funny story, that game took place on a Sunday when we had an evening service at our church. Like many others I was a few minutes late to the service because I stayed to watch the last few minutes of Bulgaria's win. As others sheepishly drifted in after us, I remember making eye contact and mouthing 'Bulgaria?' to them, receiving nods and smiles in return. Everyone was happy to see Germany lose. Twenty years later, "Letchkov!" still brings a smile to my brother's face.

I guess my change of heart is a sign of the way Germany changed their game. Although with the forward-running gameplan, they no longer look invincible at the back. In fact, against Algeria, a team prepared to run directly at them, they looked distinctly vulnerable. They have swapped that stereotypical German rigidity for resourcefulness, cheerless grit for exciting guile. Above all the tag 'efficient' no longer applies as it did for several decades. It's not about being efficient - the German trait that makes every BMW look like a lurking Decepticon - it's about entertaining.

So maybe that's it. Maybe it's because they now look beatable. When they were titans they were our enemies. But now we can see they are human and flawed they are easy to love. #

I don't think they will win this World Cup. Someone will exploit their tendency to go forward and punish them for their forwards not tracking back and protecting the defence. But I would love to be proved wrong.