My May 2026 round up

Well, May has gone by fast and finished as a very hot one, setting new temperature records. I was hotter in Cardiff than in Kefalonia the week before!

Cooler in Kefalonia 

I have blogged multiple times about the two big events in May: the Senedd election and my Three Seas Cruise. You can catch up here:

Election

• Senedd Election post
• Celebrating the election win (and seeing my friend Sara get sworn in as member of the Senedd)
• Plus, if you're nerdy, my updated election leaflets graph

Cruise

• Dubrovnik to Malta
• Sicily and Kefalonia
• Corfu and Kotor
• The Red Museum in Dubrovnik

I also had a cinema trip to see The Mandalorian and Grogu with Cathy, and posted a Japanese novel as my Book of the Month.

I had a fun return to work after the cruise. On my first day back I drove to the Wellcome Centre for Human Genetics in Oxford to learn about how the team there are using a natural protein that dampens inflammation to protect insulin-producing cells, which could potentially open a door for a cure for type 1 diabetes. 

It's very early days in the science, with loads more work to do. I put on a white coat to lend a hand.

Towards the end of the month the time had also come round for another diabetes check up. My blood test was booked for the week after the cruise.  I will find out in June how much high seas living has affected me.

(Funny note - when I checked in for my blood test the screen told me I was booked in with "Mrs Phlebotamist", which is a very odd case of nominative determinism!)

I was unable to attend the Keep Grangetown Tidy litter pick this month as I was away that weekend. But the local church, St Dyfrig's and St Sansom's invited KGT volunteers along for a special environment-focused service on 31st May. I heard Fr Richard talk about the history of the church at Grangetown Historical Society last month and it piqued my interest.

The service was high church anglo-Catholic with lots of incense and some of the liturgy was sung. Fiona from KGT did one of the Scripture readings. It was also Trinity Sunday and Fr Richard admitted he was going to dodge the question of explaining how the Trinity works in his sermon. Sensible move there. 

After the service we were invited to proceed outside for an additional prayer for the environment by the statue of St Francis of Assisi. It felt like a post-credits scene in a movie.

Later, Cathy and I took advantage of the good weather to visit The Meadows Wildlife Park. Back in November we went there for Cathy's birthday and met Roly the armadillo. It was nice to go back when it wasn't so cold. 

We didn't see Roly, but I got to pat some friendly pigs and goats.

And I met a fabulous chicken!

Sports-wise it was a football-free month. I did get some free football stickers, despite my personal World Cup boycott. I drew my monthly Blood Bowl game with Bryan. And I played some rounds of mini-golf on the cruise ship. 

I can't promise these will be the last photos from the cruise I post on my blog, but they are the last ones in this blog post!

Post-Christmas December round up

As it's New Year's Eve, I thought I'd round up the month's activity before launching into the year-end posts. 

I covered the first three weeks of the month in a previous post. My final day in work was Monday 22nd. On "Christmas Eve Eve" (the 23rd) we headed up to Shrewsbury and we stayed until "Boxing Day Boxing Day" (the 27th).

Christmas Eve morning, we went with my brother and three niblings to watch The Muppet Christmas Carol in the cinema. I don't think I've seen it on a proper cinema screen since it was released in the early 90s. It's a film that seems to get better with age. It was only the second time my youngest niece had been to the cinema. The film was a bit long for her, but she did very well at not being too bored. 

Later on Christmas Eve I went with my brother to the midnight communion service in the village Anglican church. We have done this as 'brother-time' for a few years now, with a stop in the pub on the way, and it's something I look forward to as part of the Christmas experience.

My sister and family drove all the way from Edinburgh to spend Christmas Day with us. We managed to fit 8 people round my mum's dining table for Christmas dinner. 

Auntie Cathy and Scottish niblings 

Mum's Christmas Cake

There were some exciting presents.

I will be blogging about this!

And some family members were completely tuckered out by it all!

On Boxing Day we had another brotherly outing as the two of us went to a local derby football match - Shawbury United v Haughmond FC in the United Counties League. Haughmond play on the north edge of Shrewsbury and Shawbury is less than 10 miles north of Shrewsbury so the two clubs are in close proximity. 

I was impressed by the set up at Shawbury. They had a nice clubhouse and a lovely pitch. The Haughmond Ultras (4 pre-teen boys with a flag and a drum) had ensconced themselves in one of the small stands and kept up a noise throughout. They went home happy, having seen their team win 3-1. 

I've been fortunate enough to be off work during betwixtmas, so have had a relaxing few days since coming home, sorting some life admin and things. Today (New Year's Eve) I went to my final football match of 2025, watching Barry lose away at Briton Ferry. 

I went with my friend Paul and we arrived to find the pitch was still very frosty in places. Kick off was moved back an hour in the hope the pitch would thaw out enough to be playable. It passed the pitch inspection but Barry will wish it hadn't as they were second best all game and lost 2-1. They also had two penalties given against them, with goalkeeper George Ratcliffe saving both of them! 

Frosty pitch!

Moonrise over Briton Ferry

And that concludes a busy December!

What will you give up in 2023?

Happy New Year!

This is the reverse of the kind of blog post that normally gets posted around the turn of the year. It stems from a very interesting conversation I read on Freakonomics a few weeks back, with Annie Duke, a former professional poker player and cognitive behavioural scientist who wrote a book about quitting.

Do you need a sign to stop?

In conversation with Steven Levitt, Annie Duke discussed both why we don't quit things that we should quit, and why we should probably quit more things generally. I really liked her approach, as someone who sometimes struggles with the twin drags of inertia and a sense of duty that have both kept me in situations that I stopped enjoying and sometimes started to actively dislike. 

Annie Duke describes being able to quit as "a gift", which is a positive way of looking at things. 

"...for most decisions we make, we know very little. And I think we all have that feeling, probably every day, of I wish I knew then what I’d known now... the good news for us is that when we do find out this new information that, hey, things aren’t really going our way. Or I found out this new information that would’ve made me make a different choice in the first place, we can quit what we’re doing and go do something else...  it’s the thing that makes, really, decision making under uncertainty bearable. But I don’t think we appreciate that gift."

I remember a conversation with my Dad when he was talking about various projects in his church and he commented that people are very good at starting things but not very good at finishing them. Last year the trustees at my Mum's church decided that it was becoming unviable and made the bold move to close the church down before it dwindled any further. I feel that took a certain sense of courage, particularly bearing in mind that comment from my Dad that stuck with me. 

Quitting isn't easy. I changed jobs last year and went into a tricky situation that took several months to resolve. I was asked by several friends if I felt I had made the wrong decision to change jobs. I said a few times that I still wasn't sure about the new job, but I had no regrets about moving on from my previous job. It was time for me to quit and move on. 

Happily, the new job improved massively towards the end of the year. But what if it hadn't? Annie Duke has some advice there too, about identifying the excellently-named "kill criteria". I am going to build these into various future work projects and probably in my personal life as well.

"One of the best ways to become better at quitting is to think in advance. There’s some pretty deep scientific work... [by] Barry Staw that says, “When we get signals from the world that the path we’re on is not working out, that we ought to quit what we’re doing, we don’t actually pay attention.” ...when we get those negative signals, we’ll escalate our commitment to the losing cause. In other words, we’ll double down and triple down on the path or the goal that we’re trying to pursue for a variety of reasons. One of which would be, we don’t want to feel like we wasted our time up until this moment." [That's sunk cost bias - a powerful psychological force I've blogged about before!]

"So if we know that we’re not going to pay attention to the signals, one of the things we can do is as much as we possibly can, determine those signals in advance... What are the signals that I’m going to be seeing that would tell me that I ought to walk away, that things aren’t going well? And we write down a list of those signals and we call those “kill criteria”. Doing that advanced work will actually get you to be much more likely to pay attention to them and quit earlier than you otherwise would have, which is really good for you. ‘Cause if things aren’t going well, you want to quit as quickly as possible so that you can go do something that would be better."

Annie Duke talks about "states and dates" - in other words, the "kill criteria" needs to have a state and a date so if you aren't in the state you want to be by the date you set, then you quit. You can have as many benchmarks and deadlines as you like, but the important thing is that doing this means you limit the amount of time you waste chasing a lost cause. The reason we chase those lost causes is quite simple - misplaced hope!

"The reason why kill criteria need to have a date, you need a timestamp, a deadline, is because as long as there’s hope, there’s always some chance we can turn it around. And that moment where we go from failing to having failed is so horrific for us as humans that we’ll just keep going until we’re certain that we had no other choice.

And as a final note, Annie says:

"If you quit on time, meaning at the objectively right moment, it will feel like you quit too early — usually."

So, the lesson seems to be to set the "kill criteria" and then accept them when it becomes clear that we aren't going to achieve what we want to achieved.

Know when to go

So, what am I going to quit in 2023? Is there anything with kill criteria? I've thought about this, and generally I am pretty happy going into this new year. I'm definitely feeling happier than I was at the start of 2022. But anything new is going to have kill criteria built in, and I'm going to be mindful to things that aren't working and make positive decisions to quit well before the point where all hope is lost. I feel that will be better for me in the long run.

And, on that note, an announcement. After a decade, I think this forthcoming Annual Christmas Card Audit will be the last ACCA. I may change my mind, but I feel it is time to quit. (There will still be a "favourite Christmas cards" post in future years, don't worry!)

All quotes taken from 'Annie Duke Thinks You Should Quit' on Freakonomics. 

April 2022 - a month of endings

April felt like a very busy month, marked by the end of two personally significant eras. I was working my notice in my job ahead of a move into a new role in May. I also spent a weekend in Shrewsbury so I could attend the closing service of the church that my mum and dad joined as founder members about 20 years ago.

It was also a month where I had a birthday, we had visitors at Easter and I went to ten football matches. I will be doing a second post reviewing the games otherwise this post will be too long. I've already posted about Barry Town getting relegated. After the relegation I went to their last game of the season up at Cefn Druids. I took my nephew Zac along for the first time to a game as just the two of us. We stopped at Mcdonald's on the way, which made his day.

At Easter we had visitors. My sister Sarah brought her three kids to see us on Good Friday. We went into the city centre and that meant we got to see some of the Dog's Trail statues of Snoopy. Here's Cathy with her two nieces and Snoopy.

Then in the week after Easter, we saw my sister-in-law ahead of a big birthday for her. We had a family meal out in Gloucester and Cathy and I got to wander around Gloucester Docks which is all done up and fancy now. We met a random egg dude outside the military museum.

There was also a dock crane looking all industrial and cool. I always like seeing cranes.

The final Sunday at Hope Church in Shrewsbury was handled well by the leadership team. It could have easily been a sad occasion. Instead, after a short service, there was a meal out for the people who attended. It felt celebratory with a positive atmosphere in the room. I sat next to my friend Clive, who I spent many church youth group evenings with back in the day, and we talked about fun times we had 30 years ago.

The church's decline seemed to happen quickly. Last summer I went to services with about 50 people present, but there was a domino effect of people leaving and a couple of months back the trustees met and decided the church had reached a point where it was no longer viable. I wanted to go up for the last service because it had been really important to my dad - he expended a lot of emotional energy over the years there, and he had talked to me about it (a lot!) during long phone conversations.

I know it may sound silly, but I think my dad would have wanted me there to represent him at such a historic moment. Just as he was present at the birth of the venture, I was there to see it close.

The other personally significant closing of an era was working the final weeks of my notice as the manager of the paediatric diabetes clinical network - a job I had been doing for almost 7 years. I did my best to finish well and get everything cleared off my desk or handed over to people who can continue various projects. It's stressful trying to document as much head knowledge as possible in a way that will make some sort of sense to the person following after. I doubt I captured everything, but as I have said to lots of colleagues, I'm not going far and they will be able to track me down easily enough if they want. 

At my leaving meal on the last Friday in April, I was presented with a cartoon of myself with various aspects of my work and interests represented. 

The umbrella is from the logo on the network, and the mammoth character in the background is from a book that started as a leftfield dicussion in the kitchen of my colleague Rose and is now a published resource for children with diabetes. The cartoon was drawn by Rich, who I used to work with 15 years ago and who illustrated the book about mammoths. He drew me a bit jowly, but I forgive him. 

So, it was a crazy busy month, but a good one. I even hit a milestone on my baseball card blog, publishing a post with the 1000th card in my collection, in my 500th blog post. That blog then took a back seat for the rest of the month as I was trying to keep on top of  everything else.

Christmas carols audit 2019

I did this a couple of years ago for the 2017 Christmas season, analysing the choice of songs in 6 Christmas services. Because Cathy was recuperating from serious surgery in December 2018 we didn't actually make it to any carol services at all. But in 2019 I made it to three services, a Methodist evening carol service, an Anglican midnight communion service on Christmas Eve, and the Christmas day service at a non-denominational charismatic church.

The longest set-list was at the Methodist carol service, although they had fewer pieces by the choir this year. The songs featured were:
Once in Royal David's City (solo / congregation)
O Little Town of Bethlehem
Cradled in a Manger, Meanly
Away in a Manger
Born a Stranger (choir)
Come and Join the Celebration
In the Bleak Midwinter (choir)
Jesus is the Heart of Christmas
Hark! The Herald Angels Sing
O Come All Ye Faithful (all 5 verses!)

I quite enjoyed this service because it had a few unusual songs and also we were spared from singing the glurge-dirge that is In the Bleak Midwinter. Born a Stranger was a lovely song while Jesus is the Heart of Christmas encouraged us all to think about Jesus while decorating the house and mentioned tinsel and stockings and stuff.

The sermonette also referenced the Protoevangelium of James. a second century apocryphal book that included a story about Joseph's reaction when he found out Mary was pregnant. As a church history buff with an interest in alternative early Christian writings, I found that quite interesting.

There were four carols in the Church of England midnight communion service:
Once in Royal David's City
Good Christians All, Rejoice (this has been updated from Good Christian Men, Rejoice to be a bit more gender inclusive)
O Little Town of Bethlehem
O Come All Ye Faithful

Looking back to two years ago, this is the exact same setlist as the midnight communion I went to in 2017 in the same church, so it seems they have found a selection they like and are sticking with it. I'm not complaining, these are all great carols.

There were only two "carols" in the Christmas Day service, along with two other songs, which I've bracketed. The songlist was:
The First Noel
(Praise the Father)
(O Come Let Us Adore Him - which is the chorus of O Come All Ye Faithful, but with additional lyrics set to the tune of the chorus)
Joy to the World (with updated, unnecessary lyrics)

The data-set now includes 9 services, and the most popular carol is still O Come All Ye Faithful.

In order, the most popular carols are:
1) O Come All Ye Faithful (8)
=2) Once in Royal David's City (5)
=2) Hark! The Herald Angels Sing (5)
4) O Little Town of Bethlehem (4)
=5) Silent Night (3)
=5) Away in a Manger(3)

I hope to continue this in future years, but I think I will have to try and attend a few different services in some other churches to get a more representative sample.

Christmas Carols Audit 2017 - what are the most popular carols?

From a previous year's
Christmas card audit

Given how popular the Christmas Card Audits are, I've decided to analyse the Christmas services (and other caroling opportunities) I've been to this year. My Dad has also chipped in with service sheets from two services he attended.

I'm going to include set lists for the services. Feel free to scroll to the bottom of the post to find out what the most popular one was. Asterisked songs are ones I don't think I have ever sung before, or heard sung before.

Overall stats
Services audited: 6
Denominational breakdown: 4 Anglican (C of E), 1 Methodist, 1 other

Service: Evening Carol Service, Methodist Church
Total songs: 14 (10 sung by congregation and 4 performed by choirs)
Congregation songs
O Come, O Come Immanuel
O Little Town of Bethlehem
It Came Upon A Midnight Clear
In the Bleak Midwinter
Away in a Manger
Silent Night
As, With Gladness, Men of Old*
Cradled in a Manger, Meanly*
Hark! The Herald Angels Sing
O Come All Ye Faithful (all 5 verses!)
Choir-performed songs
Carol of the Bells
Mary, Did You Know?
Jesus, Rest Your Head
O Holy Night

Service: football club Carol Service hosted by a C of E church (service sheet from Dad)
Congregation songs
O Come All Ye Faithful
Once in Royal David's City
Joy to the World
While Shepherds Watched Their Flocks by Night
We Three Kings
Silent Night
Hark! The Herald Angels Sing

Plus musical interludes/performances
Another Christmas/ Candlelight Carol / Little Drummer Boy / Peace on Earth/ Carol of the Bells / Jazz Gloria/ Nowell for the Merrie Citie/  Twelve Days After Christmas / O Holy Night

Service: Christingle service, C of E church
Total songs: 6
Congregation songs
O Come All Ye Faithful
Little Donkey
Silent Night
Away in a Manger
Shine Jesus Shine
Performed song
Mary, Did you know?

Service: Midnight communion service, C of E church
Total songs: 4 
Once In Royal David's City
Good Christians All Rejoice
O Little Town of Bethlehem
O Come All Ye Faithful

Service: Midnight Mass, (different) C of E church (service sheet from Dad)
Total songs: 4 
O Come All Ye Faithful
While Shepherds Watched Their Flocks by Night
Let All Mortal Flesh Keep Silence*
Hark! The Herald Angels Sing

Service: Christmas Day service, charismatic 'new' church
Total songs: 5  
Congregation songs
O Come All Ye Faithful
Light of the World, You Stepped Down Into Darkness
Once in Royal David's City
Hark! The Herald Angels Sing
Performed song
(Video) Light of the World - Lauren Daigle

Conclusion
The most popular sung carol, featuring in the set lists of all six services was O Come All Ye Faithful. In order, the most popular ones were:
1) O Come All Ye Faithful (6 setlists)
2) Hark! The Herald Angels Sing (4)
=3) Once in Royal David's City and Silent Night (3)
=5) Away in a Manger, O Little Town of Bethlehem and While Shepherds Watched (2)

In terms of performed songs, I don't know what the musical interludes were like in the football club carol service that Dad attended, and whether the songs were performed in their entirety. So I'm going to base my conclusions on the services I was at. This means 'Mary, Did You Know' was the most popular performed song.

Of note, that two services included non-carols, which I've listed for completeness. There were three weird ones dredged out of the back of old hymnals, although I think 'As, With Gladness, Men of Old' isn't as obscure as the other two.

The Annual Christmas Card Audit is coming. We'll be taking the cards down in the next couple of days. I haven't decided yet whether carol services are going to become an annual auditing subject. Feel free to comment and let me know what you think.

What happened to the tambourines?

When I was a kid Sunday mornings were a bit of a dash trying to get into the car and to church by 10am. Dad always had a bag of stuff he needed to talk to people about, like creationist comics to give to the kids, we all took a Bible for some reason, and usually just as we were leaving my mum or dad would suddenly cry out ‘Have we got the instruments?’

The ‘instruments’ were mum’s tambourine and my dad’s – wait for it – triangle, and possibly a couple of other things like shakers. The church we went to was very interactive and a lot of people brought along similar things to join in with the music.

I’m not sure when this stopped. I can’t put a date on when we weren’t scrabbling around looking for wherever we had dumped the plastic bag with the instruments in after church the previous week. But at some point it stopped being the fashionable thing.

It’s odd that we took them at all. We weren’t a particularly musical family, despite my parents’ good intentions in trying to get me and my brother learning to play the piano and the trumpet respectively. My dad literally never put a record on. Even now I have never known him to sit down and listen to music or even have it on in the background.

Dad’s non-musicality is why he had the triangle, running on the debateable theory that you don’t need much musical ability to master it. He used to ping it at key points in the more upbeat songs – usually whenever ‘Jesus’ or ‘Lord’ appeared in a song line. I suspect he also liked the fact that he was the only triangle-player in the congregation. Lots of people had shakers and tambourines. He was unique.

The ‘joining in with the music’ thing seems to have passed. I think this is possibly because of the higher expectations people have now of musicians in churches. Back in the 80s, in a charismatic non-denominational church, the ‘worship’ was fairly simple. There would be one or two acoustic guitars, a keyboard for the older hymns that were written for the organ and didn’t translate very well to acoustic guitars, and maybe a person leading the singing.

Gradually new instruments were added to the mix. First electric guitars and basses, then a drum-kit, then whatever else people played – some churches effectively have brass and string sections. The music is much more rounded out and enhanced by proper PA systems. Instead of just a couple of loudspeakers at the front, there are now amps all around the room.

As the ‘worship’ has grown from what was once quite amateur to something much more professional, maybe people don’t want to join in as much. Sometimes it does feel that you have Christian songs performed at you. Taking your own instruments might feel a bit silly now. ‘Make a joyful noise’ is no longer the mantra of churches like the one I grew up in.

Still, the old ways are hard to kill off. My brother told me recently that he was just about to welcome everyone to a Sunday service he was leading when he noticed the woman in the second row immediately behind his seat had brought her own acoustic guitar and was obviously planning to play along.

He had never met her before and I think he recognised that it takes a certain kind of person to turn up at a church for the very first time with your own guitar ready to join in. So he didn’t say anything to her except Hello.

2011 – year in review

I did this last year and found it fun, so here’s a look backward at 2011.

January

I was recruited to write an end-of-session report for a Commission that ended up a few weeks later with having lunch in the then Health Minister’s office in Cardiff Bay. I also had a wisdom tooth out and had a bad reaction to the anaesthetic that laid me up crook for most of a week.

February

I spent most of the month working on the report for the Commission, interspersed with a family wedding in Bournemouth, which included drink in a remarkable Victorian booze-house. I branched out onto a new social media platform and joined Twitter. One aspect of my migration to Twitter is my daily use of Facebook dropping to weekly, or even longer, between visits. As someone (can’t remember who) said, “Facebook feels so 2008”.

March

Went to an odd gig – Boothby Graffoe at Chapter Arts Centre. He was filming a DVD and that meant occasionally he’d be asked to repeat stuff if the cameramen hadn’t quite got the shot they wanted. He had to make his entrance several times. At that point I knew it was going to be a long night. I also went to my 22nd Wales football game at the Millennium Stadium. They lost, to England, 2-0.

April

Did my second ‘in the News’ studio slot at UCB Radio on April 1 and then went to a football match on my birthday – love it when that happens, especially as Town won 4-1. Had two round trips to Newcastle to see a poorly sister-in-law later in the month and ended up driving home on Royal Wedding Day.

May

Marked my first-year anniversary at the job I still sometimes think of as my ‘new’ job. A couple of weeks after that I got to travel to the exotic city of Birmingham for a conference. Spent the end of the month driving round Wales filming people – including my first ever visit to Llanidloes. Shrewsbury Town bodged the play-offs and stayed in League 2.

June

Summer holiday in Mull and then on the Ardnamurchan peninsular. I preferred Mull. Ardnamurchan was the wrong kind of remote for me, although the Lighthouse was cool. I also enjoyed eating lunch next to Loch Morar and wondering if Nessie’s cousin Morag would appear. (She didn’t.) On the 24th I became Uncle Jon to Joy Lindsay Matthias.

July

Bit of a weird month in work. One of my line managers was overseas the entire month, although I was left with plenty to get on with! Outside of work I restarted building a model railway. Updates have been infrequent of late as I have barely had time to work on the project, let alone blog about it.

August

Mum and Dad came down for a couple of days and we went to Cardiff Castle for the first time. It only took living here 16 years...

September

I travelled to the Emirates Stadium and saw Shrewsbury Town take the lead against Arsenal before eventually losing 3-1. A great occasion, though, despite the result. And then we had a week with my family in rural Herefordshire.

October

I seemed to spend most of October either on the road filming or editing the masses of footage we accumulated all over Wales. I also had another live morning in the studio at UCB and ended the month with a disappointing trip to see Shrewsbury play AFC Wimbledon, the only upside of which was introducing a new person to the ‘joys’ of watching Shrewsbury Town. Went to a Bowling for Soup gig that I felt was disappointing, but really liked one of the support bands, Suburban Legends. Bought their CD and have played it repeatedly since.

November

My second Town ‘away’ match of the season, but the shortest trip I’ll make to see them for a while as they played Newport County in the cup. So far I’ve seen at least one match a month this season – the streak continued into December as well. Work-wise, we had two massive events on consecutive days and then later in the month I got to go to The Guardian offices for a conference.

December

Always a busy month, particularly with all the travelling we tend to do to see family at Christmas and all the friends we only seem to catch up with at Christmas. (We started Christmas Day in Cardiff and ended up with my folks in Shrewsbury having eaten Christmas dinner with Cathy’s folks near Gloucester.) For the first time since 2002 I went into work between Christmas and New Year. It was a bit strange.

Mid-October Mayhem

I seem to be too busy to blog of late, so here are some random bits and bobs to keep however many people click on here regularly to see what is going on in my life in the loop:

Work
Crazy busy driving round Wales filming brilliant people doing a brilliant job improving healthcare and saving lives. Had a day-trip to Wrexham the other day, which involved 8 hours driving and a fatality. A suicidal pheasant added itself to my roadkill tally and managed to rip a bit of the bumper off The Tank for good measure.

My favourite quote from filming so far was the person who said they had been on "a real learning kerb". (Don't hit that too fast.)

Church
Cathy got baptised at the end of September, after 20+ years of waiting. When she read me the first draft of her testimony she made me cry. Friends and family turned out to see her get dipped, and make it a real special moment for us.

I've been co-opted onto the youth co-ordinating team thing and also taken on responsibility for Soul Mr, the once-a-month boy's night. It's fun, but we are in a period of adjustment as our new youth leader in training settles in.

Back in August, I did a Sunday morning talk ('sermon', if you want to get old school about these things). You can read it here. It was my first talk of that kind for over 5 years.

Family
We survived a week with the family in Herefordshire. Some pictures will make their way on here soon, including my cute little niece, Joy, who is in the grabbing-your-thumb-and-not-letting-go stage of adorability. Given the location, I didn't buy too much cider (although how much is too much?)

Freelance theology
I haven't had much chance to write for this project for a few years, but I have been buoyed by having my first ever donation off the site in the last couple of days. Someone likes it. (More importantly, someone reads it!)

I have had some good sessions on UCB Radio on the back of it. The most recent one was last Friday. I may be doing some more 'slots' for them in future. I've also recorded some stuff for them for future broadcast about the possible existence of aliens, because apparently I'm the guy to talk to about stuff like that.

Model railway
I liberated some of my Dad's old model railway gear last weekend. Will post some pictures soon, because I know how much you all love them!

Most recent film
Cowboys versus Aliens - fairly daft, but enjoyable. 6.5/10

Currently reading
'Franny and Zooey' by JD Salinger. I'm on a bit of a Salinger kick at the moment. I've recently finished his collection of short stories, 'For Esme with Love and Squalor'. One of the stories made me laugh so loud Cathy arched her eyebrows at me.

What's on this week?
More filming and editing in work and lots of plans outside. Going to see Bowling for Soup on Thursday, baby-sitting Friday, model railway exhibition on Saturday and ice hockey in the evening, leading youth on Sunday morning (need to prep for that - aagh!), visiting relatives in the afternoon (possibly). All good stuff.

Outside

There's an "outpouring" going on in Wales. At least, that's what they're starting to call it. A church in Cardiff has been having weeknight evening meetings. Some people are very excited about it all.

I have to admit, I'm not negative about it, but I'm not rushing to see what all the fuss is about. Rumours of revival are a bit like the leading of the technology curve. There are early adopters and then there's the bell curve of interest, then there are the laggards.

The thing is when the bell curve gets going the early adopters are joined by the rush of people trying it out. But the rush don't last. How many accounts on Twitter or Facebook are all but dead? (The answer is 'many'.)

I'm not trying to retcon my own experience of church and faith. I wouldn't deny the real effects of being caught up in a spiritual outpouring 17 years ago. But I guess I've gained perspective. When I was inside I saw people rush to see what as going on, and then they drifted away. They were excited about God 'moving' (although the very definition of God is that he 'moves' if you think about it) and wanted to be part of it, but now, well...

So, being outside? I'm happy. I'm not so arrogant as to say I don't need a new experience of God, but I'm not sure I should be chasing that experience instead of chasing God. I'm where I'm meant to be; I have that confirmed to me on a regular basis. God is moving - not in gold dust from the ceiling type ways, I admit - and people are coming to know him. I've had opportunities to talk about faith this week in the most unexpected of ways.

I feel as well that from the outside this incredible thing actually looks quite small. I know from experience when you are caught up in something like this it seems huge, as if that is all there is. And you forget that actually there are millions of people outside, getting on with other (God) stuff, quite happily.

God is bigger than an outpouring. And right now there is more God stuff going on outside than inside, just by the law of probability and numbers.

Runnin' with the Devils

People of a certain age and musical preference will get that title.

I have been to see the Cardiff Devils play for the last two weekends and have seen them win twice. Obviously a lucky mascot for them. Although they already have their own mascot, Lucy Fur.

Last night my friend Bryan was there with his wife, Elaine, and two of their friends. It was reportedly Elaine's first live sporting event of any kind. In the first period Bryan got hit by a puck (shoulder injury, probably not as bad as he made out, the wimp), and then in the second period, the group won the 'Domino's hot seat' competition and got a free pizza.

I, meanwhile, had a rather uneventful time at both games, although as ever I had fun introducing people to the drama and chaos that is ice hockey. I went to the one the previous weekend with Cathy and her uncle and aunt, who both thoroughly enjoyed it and want to come back with Cathy's cousin at some point. Last night we were with the Glenwood Youth for Soul Mister, and we had some kids who hadn't been before.

It's rewarding introducing people to new experiences. Especially when your team win.

We always listen to the voices outside the house

My house has no front garden. You step out the front door and you’re on the pavement. Our living room window similarly opens out onto the street.

When people walk past you hear snippets of conversation. Arguing couples, people discussing their medication, parents moaning at their kids, teenagers gossiping about who got off with who.

I find it hard not to listen to the voices outside the house. Which I’m sure irks my wife when she’s trying to tell me something.

Recently I’ve been thinking about how much we do the same thing in church. Recently we had Shane Claiborne come to my church and talk about living ‘radically’. (That’s a word that is currently in vogue, will stay in vogue for a year or so, and will be in vogue again in about six years time – you get used to seeing things spin round again in Christian circles).

I’ve got nothing against Shane. He won me over and I went perfectly ready to find fault. But I do wonder whether we really needed to ship a guy in from Philadelphia to tell us about how to love the people around us.

We have people living sacrificially and working (hard) in our church. We have people going out day in day out to interact with a community that really doesn’t give a shit about what we believe. But these guys keep on going out and serving. What could they tell us about loving the people around us?

Or are we just used to them? Their voices are the ones we know, and we can just about hear tantalising snippets of conversation from outside the house.

I’ll give another example. Soul Survivor last year shipped in two speakers from down under – one Australian and one New Zealander. Again, nothing against those people, one was very good in what he said, one less so. But again did we really need to hear what was essentially very middle of the road commentary in an antipodean twang?

Or did the fact they’d travelled so far make the things they said seem more valid?

We do the same thing in workplaces as well. The place I just left chronically under-invested in an essential part of its business. Just before I walked out the door forever (dangerous, using that word I know, but hey) they got a consultant in. The first thing said consultant said was that this particular department was ridiculously small.

Helloooooo? That’s what several staff members had said over and over. Why does it take a voice from outside the house to be heard? Why do we overlook the wisdom sitting right next to us?

We chase after new knowledge. We hanker after hearing something new and exciting from an exotic speaker hailing from a foreign land. And we think we’re smart to track down these dispensers of wisdom.

But maybe we’re just so dumb we ignore the people in the room who have grown tired of trying to be heard by us.

The most awesome blog post about birthdays ever (or: The Night I Met Face Man)

The good thing about having your birthday on Good Friday is a long weekend to recover. Plus, being holy, I also got to go to church on my birthday with the added bonus of it being shorter than the average service. (Not that I mind going to church normally, but it was my birthday.)

The party started on 1 April when I had a job interview with some folks I've done quite a bit of freelance writing for, and then got a phone call to ask if I wanted it. Of course, I did. The guy offering the job was really glad. "I got the man I wanted," was what he said.

Now I know I shouldn't take the fact that my entire team has been downsized and outsourced in any way personally. But it has felt a bit like all our hard work has been reduced to 'Yeah we can get a couple of people to do what you do for nothing.' I'd be lying if I said my confidence hadn't taken a hit. I'd also defy you to go through the same process and not feel any rejection. Do feel free to try.

But knowing that now I'm going someplace where I'm wanted has lifted me.

In the evening we went to see a boyhood idol of mine, Dirk Benedict, appear as Lieutenant Columbo at Cardiff's New Theatre. I was very excited, much to the amusement of my wife and our friends who came with us. Thing is Dirk Benedict was Face Man in that most awesome of TV shows The A Team. I liked him as Starbuck in Battlestar Galactica too, but for me he will always be Face.

We did something afterwards that I've never done before - queued at the stage door like excited groupies. We were first in line when he came out and I was tongue-tied. I wanted to tell him how huge a fan I was when I was a kid; how when we played A Team in the playground there were always arguments over who would be Face, and so on.

But I didn't. I laughed at his jokes, stammered a request for a photo, and got him to sign a flyer. Then walked away knowing that I had put my arm around Face Man and got it on film.

Truly a memorable 'birthday eve': new job, meeting Face Man... how could my actual birthday measure up. Surely all I was destined for was an anti-climax.

Well, no, actually. My birthday was great too, but this blog post has gone on a bit long, so I'll tell you about that some other time.

Patronising the poor, as Christians do sometimes

This is a rant about something that cropped up in our life group (that’s a midweek church meeting in someone’s house for all you non-churchey folk) last week.

We were talking about stories in the news and one of the stories led into a discussion about poverty, social exclusion, and how many areas of Wales may benefit from money being pumped in to improve things, but the people who live there don’t really see the benefit.

One person then came out with a classic comment about how ‘in poorer areas you do see that they have a better sense of community’. I don’t know why but that just tweaked me.

There is something so unbelievably patronising about that viewpoint. ‘Oh, those people living down in the slums, they don’t have all the nice things that we have, but they do have a better sense of community, so that makes it okay that I’m richer and they’re poorer.’

Somehow the fact that the poorer ends of town have a ‘better sense of community’ justifies inequality. But here’s some news. I live in one of the poorer parts of my city and I’m not so sure this mythical ‘better’ community exists. True, I’m on nodding, and even first-name, terms with some of my neighbours, but that’s because I don’t have a long drive and high hedges to act as a buffer zone. But I wouldn’t say we were mates.

You only really understand a community when you live in it. So, saying ‘oh there’s a much better community down in Grangetown, or up in Llanedeyrn, or [insert whatever crummy end of town you like]’ is only really possible if that’s where you live. Proximity and a dense population are not the same as community, whatever people may think. But it helps us to sleep easier in our comfortable middle-class beds to think that them poor people might not have the same comfort, education opportunities, aspirations, hopes and dreams down there in poorville. But at least they’ve got one thing that’s better than we have. Community.

A few years ago I was in a Baptist church in Grangetown. A large proportion of the membership didn’t live in Grangetown. They had been born there, bettered themselves and moved out – to Dinas Powys, Penarth, Llandough, and so on.

But they had this mindset that revolved around the church building. Every suggestion for outreach or evangelism was centred on that church building – knocking on doors in the neighbouring streets, having a ‘church fun day’, running a stall at the Grangetown festival. And those things are all well and good, but they weren’t based on relationships or communicating with people we knew. Why? Because the people we knew were generally people living in Dinas Powys, Penarth, Llandough and so on.

That church had a very set form of mission. ‘We want to reach Grangetown.’ I was told as much when I asked people why they had this fixation on knocking on strangers’ doors instead of talking to parents at the school gate where their kids went to school. ‘Oh, people wouldn’t come to church here.’

Why not? People come to IKEA here. (In fairness, IKEA wasn’t built back then, but there were other things people came to in Grangetown.) People travel. It’s not unheard of for people to cross a city to go to a church they like. (I do, now!)

But then I got it. You see it was about reaching those poor people in Grangetown with the gospel. You know, Grangetown, the place we all left as soon as we could afford to. So, even though we didn’t know anyone who lived there anymore, we would ship in, do some evangelism, and then ship out again. They needed the gospel and we would give it to them. Then we could retreat a safe distance, secure that we had done our duty of evangelism.

How patronising is that? To knock on someone’s door and tell them the good news that God wanted to share their lives, and then bugger off to another part of the city because we didn’t.

A personal view of the recently departed decade

I read a friend’s blog where she listed her personal decade – ‘what the noughties meant for me’, and it got me thinking. Things have been very different at different times for me in the decade that has just gone. I am definitely a very different person. So, it’s interesting to look back and see what has shaped me. Here’s a few of them.

Minimum Wage Hell (2001-2003)
Immediately after uni I set up a business with my wife Cathy, but way back in 2001 I got my first job where I worked for someone else: at UCI Cinemas. As a stopgap job it lasted longer than I expected. It was frustrating and boring, but occasionally brilliant. I learned first-hand that a far higher percentage of the general public are complete idiots than you would have thought. I made some great friends there, collected a fund of amusing stories, and did my final shift two years to the day I joined. UCI is now an Odeon, so this part of my life can never be repeated, really. (Which I’m not sad about.)

Cardiff Vineyard (2003-2006)
Although my Vineyard experience slowly morphed into more painful memories, I still remember the excitement of being in a small but vibrant ‘faith community’. Again, friends I made there have stuck with me. The generosity shown by some people still challenges me in what I do with life. And one Cardiff Vineyard phrase that has been hugely influential on my subsequent faith walk is ‘Let your heart be broken by the things that break the heart of God’. And of course, if I hadn’t been going to Vineyard I would probably never have replied for my current job…

Current Job (2003-current)
I’ve made it a policy to never mention the current place I work by name on my blog, because sometimes I talk about it in less than flattering terms. I work for a large charity and if you think that means it’s all fun and games, then just you try it!

But genuinely, there have been times here when I have felt in the right place at the right time. Doing what I do has opened up a whole ton of opportunities. I have progressed as a writer and earned recognition and payment for my x-trem skillz outside of work too. Which is useful, because working for a charity doesn’t mean I’m earning top-dollar, if you get my drift.

California (2004)
Our road trip round Southern California remains one of the highlights of mine and Cathy’s life together. The star-strewn skies of Death Valley reawakened a spirituality in me that I hadn’t even realised had atrophied. I learned so much about myself in just two days in the desert – particularly that when it comes down to it I like being hundreds of miles away from other human beings – that I would class it as one of my favourite spots on Earth.

Depression (2005)
I’ve always been of a melancholic bent, but in 2005 I got into a pretty bad spiral of negative thoughts that culminated in suicidal thoughts. It’s hard to describe depression without sounding melodramatic, but it’s a horrible cycle of thinking and you just can’t get it out of your head. Fortunately, I had a very good doctor, very good friends, supportive family. And Prozac.

Glenwood (2006-current)
My downswing into depression coincided with problems in Cardiff Vineyard that eventually led to the church ceasing to exist in 2006. At about the same time Brian McLaren did a day conference at Glenwood Church so I went along to hear him speak. He was awesome, and I encouraged Cathy and friends Ian and Viv to come along and hear him at the Sunday service.

They did and we all liked the service, so we decided to try a ‘normal Sunday’ and went the next week. However, the next week was the end of ’Holiday Club’ and was themed on an ‘Oscars night’. We enjoyed the service though and decided to come back and try a ‘normal Sunday’. But the next Sunday was something else again, so we decided to come back and try a… well you get the idea.

Eventually we realised (after about six Sundays) that ‘normal’ isn’t something that Glenwood does very often. But by then we’d been recruited by a friend to a new ‘life group’ and we were getting settled in. So we stayed. In Autumn 2007 I started helping out with the youth (who I now refer to as ‘my’ youth).

Significant Loss (2002, 2006, 2009)
We have faced some significant bereavements in the noughties. Back in 2002 Cathy’s Dad died as a result of an infection he picked up in Torbay Hospital. The subsequent inquest, as hospital staff covered their backs and tried to shirk responsibility, was extremely upsetting. I wouldn’t wish having to attend an inquest on anyone.

In 2006, Cathy’s Granny P (her mum’s mum) died. This time it was less of a shock but still very hard. I’d always had a good relationship with her and still miss her. Then last year my Granddad died after being incapacitated by a stroke for the best part of a year. I still can’t adequately explain how much that loss has affected me, because I simply don’t know. Occasionally I am ambushed by a memory or an overheard conversation and I’m reminded of him and I feel a weight on my heart.

Utah (2008)
My final staging point for the decade is in the summer of 2008, although, of course, plenty of things happened after it. But Utah marks a significant point for me because a) it was another amazing road trip, and b) I came off Prozac. I have been drug-free now for a year and a half, and despite last year’s bereavement, and some incredible stress at work and two winters, I have not gone mad or returned to the suicide-contemplating depressed state.

I think it was in Moab, driving next to the Green River down the Potash Road to look at ancient rock carvings that I suddenly realised I could see sunlight properly and joyfully for the first time in years. The serotonin-inhibiting drugs were washing out of my system, and the world was alive in colour and light. That memory is one of several from that trip that are etched on my brain. Utah has become my happy place because it’s there that I was able to experience happiness again unaided.

So that’s it for the noughties. Roll on 2020.

Just to clarify...

... I really enjoyed the service yesterday. I didn't find it dull. I liked the liturgy. I liked the hymns. The lady who sat next to me - Jenny - seemed very friendly and helpful. Even the tea was alright. I would thoroughly recommend people give St Mark's a go.

I only commented on the 'assumptions' thing because later it made me think about the times I do that to people.

Although having said that, getting Roger to comment is a triumph so great it's going on my CV!

Assumptions

I've noticed a lot of assumptions today.

Firstly, a confession. I went to a different church today because my normal church is having a reduced Sunday programme during August (assumption number 1: people don't want to do church in the summer).

So, we went to an Anglican church. I say we, I mean me and Terri, a long-term friend currently residing with us. She is looking for a church. She's Anglican. So it kind of worked us both going.

We were approached by a friendly chap who turned out to be the Lay Reader who later on ran the shebang, or whatever you're supposed to call the 'please turn to page 9' thing that the Anglican church do. That, by the way, actually turned out to be pretty easy to follow, and I quite enjoyed it. Saying a proper creed is always a bonus.

But anyway, Mr Lay Reader asked us if we were the couple who were there because our banns were being read out today. Not a bad assumption. He didn't know us from Adam and Eve, so we'll let him off. But it was amusing, although Terri may well have been offended that this stranger thought she couldn't do better than me.

Then we sat through the service, which moved along at a good pace. The sermon was based on 2 Corinthians 3, and the guy speaking did a good job exegeting it, linking it in with the faded glory of the old covenant with the prophecy of a new covenant in Jeremiah.

And then we had a cup of tea afterwards, during which time a few people told Terri that this service wasn't like their normal service which was usually "much livelier". Which was unfortunate, because Terri likes the liturgy and the collects and the Anglicanism of it all, and had quite enjoyed the service which ran through the 1974 revised prayer book. So, telling her that 'normally' it was qute different wasn't really going to sell her on the church.

It's been a useful experience really. It's left me wondering what assumptions I make about people.

Also a big shout out to Roger who reads this blog and was church warden for the day when we turned up. He greeted us very warmly, despite knowing who I was. So thanks for that, Roj! (He ended up having to read out one Scripture passage too, but that's another story...)

The powerlessness of God

The Easter service today contained the following interesting observations, based on the work of a sociologist called Willard Waller and his concept of the 'least love'.

According to this, in any relationship one person will love the other more. The one who loves least therefore has more power in the relationship, because the one who loves more will forgive more often, will compromise more readily and so on. The one who loves the most will have the least power and potentially is more likely to be abused.

In the context of Easter, if the theory can be extrapolated that far, God loves most and therefore in relationship to humanity is rendered powerless. The death of Christ is not God pouring out His wrath on the Son (the evangelical demi-heresy which divides the persons of the trinity), but God extending his love to us through embracing death, even death on a cross. God is abused on the cross, and by the cross, and is broken for us, he dies and in that death is also bereaved, because of his love for us.

It's deep stuff. And it's made more deep by the passage of John's gospel which was the text for the day where Jesus invites his disciples to eat breakfast with him on the beach. This is the powerless God who invites us to breakfast, after everything we've done. Because he loves us more.

Good Friday

At the Good Friday service today, The Blessing by Gerard Kelly was read out. It resonated with me. Particularly the last verse.

May you who are restless
Find rest
And in rest, restoration
And the healing
Of your hollow soul
May peace be yours
-
May you who are frozen
Find freedom
And in freedom the faith
To face the fire
And the thawing
Of your ice-gripped heart
May peace be yours
-
May you who are conflicted
Find convergence
And in convergence
Confidence
To be the one new child
Of your old divided self
May peace be yours
-
May you who live in tension
Find tenderness
And in tenderness the tendency
To kindness
And the creativity
Of a caring character
May peace be yours
-
And you who are Godless
May you find God
And in God,
The grace and growth you need
For fruit and fullness
And the love that will last you
Through the long-haul
Of a lived-for-others life
May peace be yours

Ask a theologian

Had a (small) older youth cell group tonight which was 'ask a theologian (i.e. me) any question you want'.

The questions (in no particular order):
Should we believe in aliens?
Should I go out drinking with my mates?
What is a 'doctrine'?
What about the dinosaurs?
What about the stuff Jesus said about adultery and divorce?
Why is the Old Testament about Israel and the Israelites?
How literally should we believe the Bible?
Should you be baptised before you take communion (because in another church they won't let you take communion unless you've been baptised)?
Why did people live to ridiculously old ages in the Bible?

Afterwards the general consensus was 'this was good - let's do it again'.