Cruising the Three Seas, part 2

Sicily & Kefalonia 

Messina wasn't meant to be on our schedule originally, but there wasn't a berth available in Catania so our destination in Sicily was swapped. We decided to forego the planned excursion to Mount Etna, as it would be a very long bus trip to get there for minimal time at the volcano, and instead decided to do our own thing and wander into Messina itself. 

Mum ticked off one of her bucket list items from the trip - eat Italian gelato in Italy. It was a Sunday and several businesses were closed, but around the main cathedral square most of the cafes were open, including one that served coffee and gelato. 

The cafe had an external stall with hot roasted nuts being turned into brittle in a hot mixer full of molten sugar as people watched. It smelled amazing, and not just to us humans. At one point the guy manning the stand went into the cafe to discuss something and two alert pigeons took the opportunity to land on the nuts and start wolfing them down. The fellow returned and gave them a half hearted shoo away with his nut scoop which implied this was not an unusual event, and then carried on selling the nuts and making brittle. 

The secret ingredient is pigeon feet

We were offered some samples of the nuts shortly afterwards. We declined. 

Next to Messina square is a tower with an animated astronomical clock. At noon the various animatronics put on quite a show. The cathedral rises from the waves, Jesus exits the tomb, various saints parade past the Virgin Mary and bow their heads in obeisance, a cockerel crows, a lion roars and Ave Maria gets played at very high volume. Quite a clockwork show. 

With Mum safely parked on a bench, we three sibs climbed the tower. We got great views of the city rooftops and our cruise liner in port just beyond. 

We could just about keep an eye on Mum from the tower!

We also went into the Cathedral. I took a few photos, but then a mass was starting and it felt disrespectful to the worshippers to be taking photos during the service. 

On the way back to the ship, we found a gelato shop that had confirmed gluten free options. As my sister Sarah is coeliac and needs to avoid gluten at all costs, we stopped so she could have an ice cream. I'd had an espresso and no ice cream at our previous stop, so I got one this time. It came with a cone hat.

Overnight the ship rounded Italy and sailed to Argostoli in Kefalonia. Here our party split ways. Dave and Sarah went on a boat trip to beaches only accessible by jumping off the boat. Mum and I went on the "Legends and Landscapes" tour that started with a visit to the Odysseus theme park. 

This was probably the lowest tech theme park I have ever been to, but it was quirky and charming and a whole lot of fun. The set up was a number of different statues showing scenes from the Odyssey and then various animal pens related to the story. "This is Circe, the witch, who turned Odysseus's men into sheep... and here are some sheep." You could buy carrots to feed to the various animals. 

Cyclops in his cave

Various monsters

I sat in Odysseus's vacant throne

"Psst! Got any carrots??"

After the theme park, our next stop was a small village called Efima. It was stunningly beautiful and much less touristy than the village we went to on Malta. 

It also had a small supermarket and I bought some cookies and a chocolate bar to share with Mum. 

The final stop on our tour was an overlook high above Myrtos Beach. The sea was turquoise. No filter required! It was an incredible view.  

We were back on the ship in time to see Dave and Sarah's boat coming back.

Our first day in the Ionian islands had been wonderful. Next we were off to Corfu!

ACCA19 Update - extending the audit deadline

Cathy says she told me that I'd posted the audit too soon, and she was right. The day after I posted the results of this year's audit, a Christmas card arrived.

This raises a conundrum. I got a hardline response from Chris (of "Merry Fartmas" fame) on Twitter, who said that Twelfth Night was the obvious cut off point. But then I reminded Chris that every year the big audit we submit to in work extends its deadlines and he replied with laughing emojicons so I'm pretty sure we can also re-evaluate the results to take into account new data.

But first you may be asking, who is this late card sender. Well, everyone, let me introduce you to Stewart. I met Stewart when I was doing my MSc. He's a good mate who introduced me to Nepalese curry in Bristol on a night out when I missed my train home, and together we have braved the away ends of Rodney Parade in Newport and the Memorial Ground in Bristol to support each other's respective football teams. He was with me at the first half of my frustrating attempt to attend two football matches in one day. (Yes, I'm still bitter about those blooming floodlights!)

And the thing is, Stewart has rescued one of our "none" categories this year, because he sent us this...

Yes, that's right. It's a donkey! Our only one this Christmas. But what really makes this card isn't that it's the only donkey in the audit. It isn't that it's illustrated by Quentin Blake, one of my favourite illustrators. No, what really makes this card is the hilarious handwritten message inside.

How could I not re-open the audit to include this when someone has written that?

So, there you go. Just when you thought the ACCA was over, it lives on!

Updated categories:

Total number of cards: 83 84 (last year: 82)

Hand-made / home-produced cards: 5 
Cards designed by kids: 4
Cards with glitter: 13 

Charity cards
Cards sold in aid of charity (or fundraising):51 52
Total number of charities represented: 42 
Most popular charity represented: British Heart Foundation (11).

New for 2019: charity card cause breakdown
Cards raising money for cancer charities: 26
Cards raising money for other health issues: 31
Animal charities: 2
Children's charities: 13 14
Overseas development charities: 11

Religious themes
Religious-themed cards: 24 
Cards featuring the Nativity: 14 
Christmas story 'characters':
Three kings: 6 
The shepherds: 2
The star of Bethlehem: 0
Angels: 2
Choirboys: 0
'Cartoony' religious: 1

Other themes
Santa: 3 
*Christmas Elf: 1 
Penguins: 2
Bears: 1 
Deer/reindeer: 3
Christmas decorations: 5 
Christmas trees: 12 
Christmas food: 2 
Robins: 0
Donkeys: 1
Sheep: 0
Other animals with or without Santa hats: 6
Winter scene/scenery: 12 
Snowmen: 6
*Snow / snowflakes: 2 
Licensed characters: 1
Llamas: 0 
Hares and Moons: 1 
Holly and wreaths: 0

Messages on the front of the card 
Cards that mention 'Christmas' on the front: 26. (1 religious themed)
"Seasons Greetings": 3
Mentions "Jesus": 0 
Bible verse: 2 
*Lines or titles of Christmas carols: 7 
*Lines or titles of Christmas songs: 1 

15 Christmas cards from the ACCA '18

Ooh, you lucky, lucky things you. In the past I've shown off 10 or a dozen Christmas cards that we've been sent. This year you get 15.

Let's start, like we usually do, with a token religious card or two. Religious cards are usually dire. I don't know why. In Christian theology, Christmas marks the actual moment when the creator God of the universe was born as a tiny, helpless infant, on a quest to redeem humanity from the stain of sin. Quite how you can make that idea boring, I don't know. But card companies do. Repeatedly.

Anyway, I quite like this card.

Obviously, it's not particularly interesting as a picture, but the artistry in the design elevates it above the herd of boring stables and lone stars in dark nights above stereotypical middle eastern townscapes.

But Christmas seems to have transcended its religious roots, merging with and absorbing all kinds of other traditions. And extra stuff seems to get heaped on with every passing year. Like Christmas jumpers. They started off a few years back as a bit of a joke. Now they are mass-produced in Chinese sweatshops year-round in anticipation of the cheap novelty jumper frenzy every December. 

If you were going to choose one cultural accretion to mash up with the religious aspect of the holiday, why not Christmas jumpers? I actually really liked this card with cutesy nativity characters on jumpers.

Of course, we all know who the real star of Christmas is. Move over Jesus, the kids are more interested in Santa anyway.

This year we got an advent calendar card with Santa on. It arrived the end of November. There are elves behind the doors - but you'll have to take my word for that because I scanned it with the doors shut.

Who buys Santa presents? Inquiring minds want to know.

Snowmen, apparently. Goodness knows what he's wrapped up in there. Something frozen, I hope. 

Speaking of snowmen, this chap amused me. However, this is one of the cards that arrived in an orgy of glitter, which I am still noticing on the carpet.

Some newish themes came our way this year, particularly animals in the snow. This blackbird had a mscheivous glint in his eye.

And this donkey looked surprisingly chipper, despite only having a scarf to ward off the perishing cold.

(Seriously, animals do not stand out in falling snow. Animals are smarter than that.)

Another random theme, featuring on two cards this year, were hares and moons. Not mooning hares, although that will no doubt feature at some point as any cultural shift gets debased. These cards were captioned "Hare by Moonlight" and "Moonlit Hare". See if you can work out which was which.

We had no dogs in Santa hats this year (which deeply disappoints me) so I'm declaring hares and moons as the new dogs in Santa hats, in terms of card fashions. I guess they'd also count as 'animals too dumb to shelter from falling snow' along with the donkey and the cheeky berry-thieving blackbird. (You know it's not his berry. He's nicking it. You can tell by the glint in his eye. And good for him. We need more anarchic animals taking on humanity; pinching berries, burning stuff, overthrowing capitalism.)

Another macro-theme would be 'cards that people send me to mess up my audit'. The next one clearly falls into this theme. I'm fairly certain my friend Stewart was trying to derail me with this card.

Also, now I have to have a llamas category because someone thought it wise to send us this.

I didn't want a new category but Cathy insisted, because llamas.

Penguins - that's a sensible Christmas category that we've always had since the audit began back in 2012. (Ah, remember 2012? We'd just had the Olympics. The nation was united. We weren't going to be leaving the EU and plunge into economic chaos because a bunch of gammons were fed up with foreigners coming over here and doing all the menial jobs and paying tax on their earnings. A simpler time.)

Anyway, enough of the reverie about a time before the country turned into a toxic hot mess. Penguins. They're cute on their own of course. But even cuter as a couple.

The "Cosy Christmas Cuddles" card was Cathy's card to me. It's probably not that surprising that every year two of my favourite cards are the ones that we give to each other. I went native with my choice. You can't get more Welsh than two sheep saying Happy Christmas in Welsh.

Seriously, how cute are they? I bought this card when I saw it in November, instead of procrastinating and doing my usual 23rd December late dash to a supermarket.

And so, on to the last card I'm going to show you from this year's collection. This was from my northern-dwelling sister-in-law, Abby. It's a Geordie version of a popular Christmas song. It's the perfect marriage of concept and design and it's even got the Angel of the North on it in faint outline. Now, that's my kind of Christmas angel.

Thanks for reading this. Only 49 weeks until Christmas 2019!

The big Annual Christmas Card Audit 2017

Welcome to the ACCA for 2017! (I've started calling it the ACCA. I've done this for 6 years now so it feels fairly safe to say it's annual.)

I like the sentiment

I'm just going to crack on with the figures and make comments as I go along. Links to previous years are at the end of the post. New or altered categories are asterisked.

Total number of cards: 90 (a new record low, although we only had 91 in 2016)

Hand-made / home-produced cards: 7 (same number for the fourth year in a row)
Cards with embellishments (bits stuck on): 3
Unusually shaped cards: 3
*Cards with glitter: 17

Cards sold in aid of charity (or fundraising): 57 (2 up from 2016)
Total number of charities represented: 41 (down from 48 in 2016)
Most popular charity represented: Macmillan had 6, as did the Traidcraft / SCIAF / CAFOD / Christian Aid combination. British Heart Foundation had 5. Children in Need and the Phoenix International Charity both had 4.

Religious themes
Religious-themed cards: 31 (3 down from 2016)
Cards featuring the Nativity: 16
Christmas story 'characters':
Three kings: 6 (still much more popular than the shepherds)
The shepherds: 3 (staging a bit of a comeback after 1 card in 2016 and 0 in 2015)
The star of Bethlehem: 2
Angels: 0
"Joy to the World": 0
'Cartoony' religious (various themes): 0 - clearly 2017 was a much more serious religious year than 2016.

Other themes
Santa: 5 (still a long way down from 14 in 2015)
Penguins: 3 (drop from 5 in 2016)
Various cartoon bears: 1 (this seems to be seriously decreasing after the all time high of 12 in the first ACCA in 2012)
Deer/reindeer: 5 (increase)
Christmas decorations: 5 (the same)
Christmas trees: 10 (increase)
Christmas food: 1 (the same)
Robins: 3 (increase)
Donkeys: 1 (decrease)
Sheep: 1 (the same)
Winter scene/scenery: 2 (a big drop from 8 in 2016)
Snowmen: 6 (decrease)
Licensed characters: 3 (stayed the same)

Messages (front of card only)
Cards that mention 'Christmas' on the front: 37. Only 5 of them were religious themed. I've mentioned before how religious cards don't really use the word Christmas. It's quite odd.
"Seasons Greetings": 1
"Winter Wishes": 1
"Let it Snow": 0
"Ho Ho Ho": 0
Mentions "Jesus": 3
*Bible verse: 3 (only counting them if the verse is on the front of the card)

Non-scoring themes (from previous audits): 'Political' fund-raising cards; Dogs in Santa Hats; Mistletoe; Owls; Peace

Previous years:
2012
2013
2014
2015 plus senders analysis and Bible verse breakdown
2016 plus favourite cards
New for 2017: Christmas carol audit

A dozen Christmas cards that featured in the 2016 Christmas card audit

We got 90 cards for Christmas 2016, which was a bit of a drop on the previous year. I've picked out 12 that I liked or that illustrate some of the new categories added to the audit.

Firstly, I separate out the religious and non-religious Christmas themes. To illustrate what counts as 'religious' here are three designs that all appealed to me.

Despite there being a large proportion of religious cards, very few cards mentioned Jesus by name. This one was one of only 3.

Technically that card should be classed as an Epiphany card rather than a Nativity card, as it features the Kings not the Shepherds. The Nativity comes in all shapes and sizes, but is best when small children play dress up.

There are, however a plethora of other themes that 'look' Christmassy enough to go on a Christmas card. Penguins are often popular. This year, though, the sub-theme for penguins was 'penguin couples cards', like this one:

Charity cards are another aspect of the audit and we always have a high percentage of cards sold in aid of good causes. This year one of my favourite cards was raising funds for Ty Hafan. In terms of a design theme, this comes under 'Christmas food'. It particularly like that it is bespoke and has their logo on the design because a lot of charity cards are very generic.

Every year we find new charities in the list. I think this year was the first year we had a card raising funds for The Donkey Sanctuary. It pleased me that it featured donkeys.

Other animals got a look in too. We didn't have any dogs in Santa hats this year, more's the pity. However we did have sheep in woolly hats instead.

Bears are also always popular. They don't have to be polar bears, although I just couldn't resist this chappie in his Christmas jumper.

I mentioned in my post about the audit that one friend tried to find an unclassifiable card and failed. Special mention for him though, his name's Chris and the card he sent had a pun on it about a moose named Chris. Which I think could be a contender for most obscure category - puns involving the card sender's name. This got put into the deer / reindeer theme, which covers all antlered animals.

A new category this year was unusually shaped cards. The scan cut off the bottom of this mug of hot chocolate, but I liked it for the handle you could hold to make it look like you were holding a mug.

And finally, we had a new category this year of licensed characters on cards. First up we have Snoopy, playing the part of Santa with Woodstock getting in his way as he goes about his stocking-filler duties.

And, then there's this. I have no idea where my wife got it from but it's the best 'Husband' Christmas card ever.