Scary angel and pregnant Mary

I went to Tewkesbury Abbey today and saw a Nativity scene with a scary angel - it looked like one of the Weeping Angels from the most terrifying Doctor Who episode this century.

You may notice that Mary is pregnant and the manger only has a lamb in it. Well it's not Christmas Day yet, so Baby Jesus hasn't arrived!

Meanwhile, the Wise Men were halfway down the church, making their way to the holy crib.  I suspect they won't arrive until 6th January - which is still a decent pace for mannequins. 

Fun with street art

I'm having a week off between leaving my last job and starting my new one. On Tuesday, Cathy and I were in the city centre and we saw some cool street art. We tried to pose some photos with it, but couldn't get it to click.

So we went back on Wednesday and had a mess around. The patrons of the nearby nail bar watched on amused as I struck various poses.

I really like these photos and decided to use them to give my socials an overhaul. These are now on Facebook, Twitter and I've put one in the sidebar of this blog. 

A while back I wrote a poem called Angel Voice (you can read it here). The more I think about it, angels are no use if they stay in Heaven. Maybe they wear Ellesse sports jackets and dirty Converse. (Or maybe they don't.)

I want to give a massive thank you to Cathy for humoring me, and also for ordering me into position to get the shots just right. 

If you want to copy this, then go and find the Big Moose Coffee Co. The wings and halo are on the wall opposite. Big Moose serve an excellent cup of coffee as well and is an independent non-profit venture well worth supporting. I don't know who drew the wings. I offer my thanks to the unsung genius. 

The Big Annual Christmas Card Audit 2019

Well, here it is. I've been teasing the ACCA on Twitter and Facebook, and judging by the comments I get from people on social media, in person, and in some of the Christmas cards that you send, this is the only thing on my blog that you lot are interested in.

The auditing process...

After several years of declining numbers our number of Christmas cards received stabilised this year, which was pleasing. The trends were interesting again this year. Still, no dogs in Santa hats, although there were a couple of other behatted animals, and a dog with a stocking. Christmas trees were very popular this year, as were cards featuring 'wintery scenes', possibly because we don't get snow any more in our warming world.

A word about the audit process, because I know some audit nerds read this every year. I tend to count cards by the most prominent 'theme' or most important aspect of the card. So, for example, Santa in his sleigh being pulled by reindeer would count as a 'Santa' card . If it was just the reindeer with the sleigh waiting patiently on a rooftop next to a chimney, it would be counted as a reindeer card. Some cards are unclassifiable, even with all the new niche categories I keep adding.

In the religious category, it works like this: if the card features Mary, Joseph and Jesus it counts as a 'Nativity' card, even if the wise men and shepherds are also depicted. If it's just baby Jesus, then it's also a Nativity card. So the Wise Men category is just the wise men; the shepherds the same. Angels appearing to shepherds would be a shepherds card. Angels on their own would be in the angels category. It's arbitrary, but at least I've been consistently arbitrary since I started.

On a final note, a few people have started picking cards that they think will break my categorisation. No one has succeeded in doing that yet. It does amuse me that people try.

Anyway, on to the audit. New categories are asterisked. (I probably should stop adding new categories.)

Total number of cards: 83 (last year: 82)

Hand-made / home-produced cards: 5 (down from 7)
Cards designed by kids: 4
Cards with glitter: 13 (down from 17)

Charity cards
Cards sold in aid of charity (or fundraising):51
Total number of charities represented: 42 (up from 36)
Most popular charity represented: British Heart Foundation were the winners again this year, with 11.

New for 2019: charity card cause breakdown
Cards raising money for cancer charities: 26
Cards raising money for other health issues: 31
Animal charities: 2
Children's charities: 13
Overseas development charities: 11
[Cathy noticed that, possibly for the first time ever, we received zero Oxfam cards]


Religious themes
Religious-themed cards: 24 (down from 30)
Cards featuring the Nativity: 14 (down 1 from 2018)
Christmas story 'characters':
Three kings: 6 (same for the third year running)
The shepherds: 2 (up 1)
The star of Bethlehem: 0
Angels: 2
Choirboys: 0
'Cartoony' religious: 1

Other themes
Santa: 3 (half as many as 2018)
*Christmas Elf: 1 (nice that the workers who keep the whole shebang running get a look in)
Penguins: 2
Bears: 1 (can you believe that one year we had 12 cards featuring bears; that's a trend that has receded as fast as the polar ice shelf where they all live)
Deer/reindeer: 3
Christmas decorations: 5 (up from 2)
Christmas trees: 12 (double the number from 2017)
Christmas food: 2 (both sprouts!)
Robins: 0
Donkeys: 0
Sheep: 0
Other animals with or without Santa hats: 6
Winter scene/scenery: 12 (up from 3 in 2018!)
Snowmen: 6
*Snow / snowflakes: 2 (I can't really believe this has never been a theme before)
Licensed characters: 1 (The Snowman of Walking in the Air fame)
Llamas: 0 (This was a new category last year, but maybe the llama fad is over)
Hares and Moons: 1 (Another new category last year, and presumably not over)
Holly and wreaths: 0

Messages on the front of the card 
Cards that mention 'Christmas' on the front: 26. Just 1 of them was religious themed. This just confirms my repeated observation that religious themed cards don't use the word Christmas. Also, again we just had the 1 card saying "Nadolig Llawen".
"Seasons Greetings": 3
Mentions "Jesus": 0 (again)
Bible verse: 2 (same as in 2018)
*Lines or titles of Christmas carols: 7 (same as 2018)
*Lines or titles of Christmas songs: 1 (and that's pushing it because the words were "Fa la la la la")

Catch up on previous years
2012
2013
2014
2015 plus 10 favourite cards, senders analysis and Bible verse breakdown
2016 plus favourite cards
2017 plus a dozen favourites and Christmas carol audit
2018 plus 15 favourites

I promised you some Christmas cards, so here you go

Cathy has been a star and scanned in some of the Christmas cards that we received in 2015. (Read the annual audit here) So, for your enjoyment, here are the 10 cards that really stood out for us this year. Enjoy!

First up - one of the dogs in Santa hats cards we got this year. He looks happy it's Christmas...

What could be better than a pug in a Santa hat? How about a dog driving a car while wearing a Santa hat?

Cathy says the one on the right is obviously meant to be me. What do you think?

(I only noticed when compressing these that he is kind of wearing Shrewsbury Town colours. Freaky.)

Anyway, we had some other snowmen (snowpeople?) too. I liked this snow family.

Want to get in my wife's good books for life? Draw her a Snoopy card! The kid who did this was 8. She did a better job than I would have.

I quite liked this deer card. It's cute and it also has a beveled edge like a stamp making it feel much posher. Die-cut cards aren't that common so it stood out.

Googly eyes! Always a winner. A pun! Toast! Everything you would want on a card, here.

I always love cards that teach me something new. Here's a charity I have never heard of before: Perennial, the charity that cares for horticulturalists in need. (Loaded up large so you can click on it to read the text)

But in terms of charity logos, this, for the Roald Dahl Marvellous Children's Charity, wins hands down.

And finally, there is always one card that makes you think, 'What on earth...' This year's winner in that category has a back story and was in a good cause, but even so, was one of the strangest card designs I think we've ever received. (Again loaded as a larger file - click on it to see it in all its glory! Be warned, though. You can't unsee it.)

So, there you go. If any of your cards made the cut, then well done and thank you for sending us a card.

Angel voice (a poem)

I write more poems than I publish, but occasionally a scrap of verse seems to tangle well with itself and I think, 'hmmm, maybe I could show this to people'. 

So, anyway, here goes:

ANGEL VOICE

I used to be a high-flying angel
But they clipt my wings
After I slipped and sinned and fell

And tho’ now a broken earth-tied angel
Yet my crypt still sings
Heav’n’s secret songs, too sad too sweet to tell

Angel's delight

I wrote this drama a couple of years ago and my friends Doug and Michelle were the angels, hence the descriptions... I think Maria and Lewis were Mary and Joe and baby Llewellyn was Jesus, but I might be wrong about that.

Angel's Delight
Characters: Mary, Joseph (Joe) and baby Jesus, Gabriel (an angel), Gabrielle (another angel), Narrator

Scene: Mary & Joseph are sitting with the baby Jesus in a ‘manger’ (baby-seat).
Enter Narrator

Narrator: It was a long time ago, in a galaxy not too far away,
When a baby was born and laid in the hay,
Of an animal’s manger and there, in with the sheep,
His mam and his dad were too exhausted to sleep,
And under the starlight that seemed strangely bright,
They thought of what brought them to that place that night
And they talked about all the extraordinary things,
That they’d heard from the strange people with wings.

Mary: You know, Joe, I can’t really believe you stuck by me. Even now that we’re here in Bethlehem and the baby’s been born and everything. I don’t think I could have done it without you.

Joe: Well I didn’t do much. Just let you hold my hand during it. (He massages his hand) The doctor said I should get the feeling back in a few days.

Mary: Yeah, sorry about that.

Joe: It’s OK. Just remind me not to hold your hand the next time you have a baby.

Mary: Well, if it’s yours…

Joe: It had better be mine!

Mary: I think it will. The angel said I was going to ‘be with child’ and have a son. So I guess that’s all done now.

Joe: Oh, yeah, the angel. I remember meeting the angel. It was like a dream. Maybe it was a dream. All I remember is beauty and light and long blonde hair (he sighs and look wistfully off into the distance).

Mary: Are you sure?

Joe: What?

Mary: Well that doesn’t sound like the angel Gabriel at all.

Joe: Gabrielle.

Mary: What?

Joe: You pronounced it wrong. The angel was called Gabrielle, not Gabriel.

Mary: No, he was called Gabriel and he was big and loud and spoke with a funny accent.

Joe: He? Don’t you mean she?

Mary: No, I don’t mean she. You don’t get more he than he was. He was like all the he you could be.

Joe: Are we talking about the same angel?

Enter Gabriel and Gabrielle.
Gabriel: Hi guys!

Gabrielle: You made it safely here, then.

Mary: Gabriel!

Joe: Gabrielle!

Mary & Joseph turn to look at each other.
Mary & Joe together: Oh, riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight!

Narrator: With that mystery solved, mam and dad had to smile,
At the angels who had come down to earth for a while,
One was pretty and kind and had long blonde hair,
The other was manly and loud and his head was quite bare,
Mam and dad partied with the people with wings,
And were joined later on by shepherds and kings,
While the baby slept on – his condition quite stable,
Proof of sorts that this story is no ordinary fable.