Rejecting others

To be fair, we knew it wouldn't get on the intranet, but as the editor who commissioned the piece only to have it cruelly knocked back by 'Standards' (aka my boss, but it sounded much more Studio 60 to say 'standards'), I'm glad Lorenzo has posted his excellent 19th Century Marriage spoof on his blog. Read it and giggle.

Borders has arrived

Last night we went to the brand new Borders in town. Plus points include very comfy chairs in the comic book section, a decent religion section (I used my 20% off voucher on a theological tome which everyone else thought looked completely dull - a sure sign it'll be good), and a Starbucks. As I said, while sipping my black Tazo tea and flicking through a 25,000-word etymological dictionary, it's like a library where they actually have books you want to read. Cathy added 'And here the books are clean...'

But the highlight of the night was Elaine asking why anyone would want to go clubbing when there's such a nice bookshop to go and sit in. It's one of life's imponderables. We're toying with the idea of setting up a book group to meet there as then we'd always get discount!

And next time Dad comes down I'll know where to send him for a few hours to keep him occupied. The map section alone could probably keep him quiet and happy for a good three hours.

Rejection letter

A couple of months after I wrote to them, I received an incredibly short 'no thanks' letter from an agent today. What made me smile was the way they'd written my name in after 'Dear'. Obviously it's quicker to print off a whole load of knockback letters and fill in the names manually.

More covers

A while back I did a post about cover versions of songs I liked. Here are five more, including a cover of gone-and-long-forgotten boy band Five.

Foo Fighters: Band on the Run
Radio One are celebrating their fortieth birthday by asking loads of contemporary bands to cover songs from the past forty years. There have been some really good ones and a couple of days ago it was the Foo Fighters covering the Wings classic. And, boy was it good. I'm guessing the BBC will release the tracks on a celebratory album at some point. And I might just have to get a copy.

Terrorvision: Get on Up
I've never heard this on tape, but it was the last song of a brilliant gig Terrorvision did at The Bierkeller in Bristol on the tour promoting what turned out to be their last album. The original is, of course, by Five. I keep hoping Terrorvision's version will turn up on a posthumous release sometime (they've already had three come out!).

Tori Amos: Smells Like Teen Spirit
Take a grunge classic. Transpose it to piano. Hear it sung by Tori Amos. You can imagine how powerful this cover is.

Lily Allen: Oh My God
This is from the Mark Ronson album 'Version'. If you haven't heard it yet find someone who's got a copy and borrow it. What producer Mark Ronson has done is ask a whole bunch of people to cover various songs. I'm not a huge fan of Lily Allen, but I do like the Kaiser Chiefs, and the combination somehow just works. Other tracks I really like on the album include Amy Winehouse singing 'Valerie' by the Zutons, and a cover of the Smiths classic 'Stop Me'.

Hootie and the Blowfish: Please, Please, Please, Let me get what I want
Speaking of Smiths covers, this one from H&tB's collection of unreleased and live tracks is pretty good.

Informative postcards

I swear my Dad manages to fit more information onto a postcard than any other human being alive. Not only does he tell me what the weather has been like every day he's been away, but also every conference seminar he's gone to, every one my mum went to, who the speakers were, what he thought about what they said, what mum thought about the seminars she went to, the other sights he went to see with mum, the things he saw without mum, and even where they ate buns when they stopped for refreshments.

The slightly worrying thing is that I know he's now going to phone me and tell me all about it again. So, if I don't pick up when you ring me in the next couple of days, yes I am screening my calls. Don't take it personally.

Head cold

Came home from work today at lunchtime as I'm developing a head cold. Yesterday I had the classic sore throat which got worse during the day, despite an overdose of Strepsils. Today it's a bunged up nose. I'm predicting I'll be a snot factory tomorrow.

On Wednesday I sat in a meeting next to a bunged up sneezer who was quaffing Lemsip. I remember quite clearly bemoaning the fact that some people will come into work no matter how ill they are and spread the germs around. I was assured by said person she was not infectious because by the time you exhibit the symptoms, you're past the infectious stage. Yeah, whatever.

I think my current state is living disproof of that theory.

Shoot 'Em Up

This was our choice for "violent man's-movie night" and it wasn't bad. (We're not violent men, it's just a violent movie written for men...). I was hoping it would be this year's Crank, but no such luck. It seems they had a choice between hiring extra stuntmen or hiring a script editor. They went with the stuntmen.

Still, Clive Owen was reasonable as Mr Smith, the mysterious antihero who rescues a preganant woman, delivers her baby (using a gun to sever the umbilical cord - nice...), and then is left holding said baby, trying to protect it from would-be killers. Monica Belluci turned in a decent performance as the lactating hooker Smith ropes in as a wet nurse - once he's got rid of her nappy-wearing customer*. And Paul Giamatti escapes indie-film hell to play a bad guy for once. I think I was the only one to pick up on the "F--- you sideways!" reference.

Taken straight, this film is rubbish, but if you treat it as a comedy, it's hilarious. Smith is more than just a crack shot, he's a carrot-munching wisecracker, who can bring a woman to orgasm, while offing gun-toting bad guys at the same time. A true hero in every sense of the word. The storyline itself is preposturously convoluted, but everything about this film - stunts, acting, and script - is equally daft.

The film has blood, gore, killing, mayhem and swearwords (including some created by shooting a neon sign) aplenty. It's a recipe for success and makes it highly enjoyable to boot. But perhaps not one to take the missus to.

Our next violent man's-movie night will probably be to see another Brit in high-octane carnage. Jason Statham is teaming up again with Jet Li for War. Bring it on.

*Film trivia question - without looking her up on IMDB, in which 18-rated film did Monica Belluci play a prostitute in 2004?

Two things I've learned today

1 - eating crisps and playing Pacman on Facebook gets your keyboard all greasy.

2 - there's still an archive of football articles I wrote about six years ago out there on the inter-web, including the classic Is Football a Religion?

Down with the youth

Out with the older youth today for the first time. It seems kids are actually as ignorant as they seem. A discussion about musical idols led to the question 'who was in the Beatles?' Ok, fair play, they got two, and suggested Elvis Presley to boot. But then...

"And the other one was Ringo Starr..."

"Really? What a stupid name - Rainbow Star."

"RINGO Starr."

More factoids...

This time culled from, er, Time.

There are 90 guns for every 100 citizens in the USA, making it the most heavily armed country in the world. The country with the next highest aresenal of civilian arms is India. With 4 guns for every 100 people. Four and a half million guns are purchased in the USA every year. Worldwide, only eight million guns are produced a year.

Scientists have used sugar-eating microbes from the ocean to convert food into electricity. Apparently a cup of sugar can power a 60-watt bulb for 17 hours.

And this gem of a story made it into the most emailed section of BBC News despite being almost 2 years old: Jogging your way to saggy breasts
(It's top quality research which incidentally is sponsored by a sports bra manufacturer)