Another new alias

I'm a man of many faces,
Known by many names...

...names like Kevin.

The perfect introduction

Last night Cath, Irony Boy and myself were at a gathering and a woman introduced herself to me. She then asked 'And who's this?' about Cath, to which I said 'Oh this is my wife, Cathy.' (As you'd expect me to really.)

Then she noticed Ian. 'And do you know him?'

'Yep,' I said. 'That's Ian. He's my sidekick.'

'Your sidekick?'

'Yes. We're superheroes in our spare time.'

That ended that conversation.

Santa's secret identity

Cath claims that I post things she’s said on here and take credit for them. So, to assuage her accusatory nature, I feel duty bound to point out that most of today’s post was her idea.

Have you ever wondered what Santa does the rest of the year. Well, maybe he’s moonlighting as the Jolly Green Giant. Consider the evidence…

1 – both Santa and the Green Giant say ‘ho ho ho’… but to mask his other identity, Green Giant always adds “Green Giant” at the end of his ho ho ho-ing
2 – you never see Santa and the Green Giant in the same place
3 – Santa used to wear a green outfit until he was famously outfitted by Coca-Cola in an ad campaign that changed popular culture
4 – we know from Lord of the Rings that elves are tall, but in Santa’s workshop they seem really small, which makes sense if Santa is really a giant!

Ah, I love the English language

Computer spellcheckers are often unintentionally hilarious. I typed the word ‘Shropshire’ and it wasn't in the computer's dictionary. It suggested "trashier" instead!

Yesterday I was telling Matt my personal graphic designer who’s secretly called Philip, about my love for potatoes. “I’m a potato whore,” I said.

“Or a Potat-ho” was his reply.