No, you're going to drown, little girl. Sorry.

Don't know if you've seen the latest adverts to try and persuade us all to stop producing CO2, where there's a dad reading a bedtime story about the 'evil CO2 monsters' living up in the sky and how we're all going to get washed away when the ice caps melt. It ends with the kid asking "Is there a happy ending?"

I am truthfully a bit worried about global warming as my house that's oh so convenient for the Bay is only about six feet above sea level. Unlike friends of mine who live on top of hills, or far enough inland to not worry so much, I've got an elevation of six feet and about quarter of a mile until the seawater gets me.

And the thing is I think global warming is going to get worse. I base this assumption on some simple observed phenomena.
1) There are several people in this world who are easily distracted idiots who are incapable of turning off X Factor and turning on the news.
2) People are selfish and want to buy cheap crap made in China, regardless of how many emissions there are in production or transportation.
3) Stopping global warming will be expensive and no one wants to pay for it.
4) Cars are convenient and often cheaper to run than relying on public transport.
5) Burgers aren't going out of fashion any time soon.

So, I think the only solution is to take this personally, and abuse people who abuse the planet. After all their actions are effectively going to flood my house, the selfish gits. Be warned if you drive a 4x4 in my city.

Global warming - the evidence

Driving into work this morning under the M4 bridge and I spotted a giant truck heading west with the words Bristol Fruit Company emblazoned on the side, along with a giant picture of a bunch of bananas.

Since when have bananas grown in Bristol?

SNOW

So exciting, even Cath got out of bed to look at it!

Yes, that’s right. We have snow. Apart from a tricky skid in Grangetown at the beginning of my journey I loved driving in this morning. For one thing the trees and bushes were all dusted white. For another the roads were clear because most of the schools were shut and so the usual mums on the school run weren’t out.

It strikes me that the contribution to global warming caused by people driving their kids to school probably cuts down on the number of ‘snow days’, meaning that people have to drive their kids to school more frequently, increasing carbon emissions, thereby reducing the number of snow days… It’s a vicious cycle. But it could be broken if some of those little porkers were made to walk to school.

But anyway, snow. I love snow. I don’t love slush though. Especially when I step out of my car into a slush heap and it gets my sock slightly soggy. Not so good.

And the snow was an inspiration in more ways than one. Every Monday and Thursday we have an organisational prayer gathering (if people can be bothered to go to it). Today’s was on the subject of snow, co-incidentally. Actually the guy up the front, Roger (the VAT-Dodger) from Finance, admitted that he only decided what to talk about last night. At least he was honest. I’ve lost count of the number of times the person in charge has obviously panicked at the last minute, picked up their Every Day with Jesus and decided ‘you know what, this’ll do’.

It’s started to rain now, and the snow’s melting, but I reckon most of it will hang about until tonight when it will FREEZE and cause havoc. Hurrah.