Got a newbie starting in our office today. I thought I'd make a good impression... by turning up late because I overslept. Then everyone told her not to believe anything I said because I'm the 'number 1 wind-up merchant', which I'd dispute but now she won't believe any of my protestations of innocence.
I introduced the new girl, Ruth, to Rowena, saying "Rowena's a very important person - because she's the other girl in the CDP team!" Rowena then told Ruth how glad she was to have another female around, and how she'd tried to get me wearing a dress so she didn't feel so alone.
"I used to," I said, "but people were intimidated by my man-rack." Which apparently was taking it too far.
Still, start as you mean to go on, as I always say.