Warm and toasty with Handerpants - underpants for hands

These may be one of those things that people make up and stick on the web. But if they do in fact exist I would like a pair. I haven't googled them because who knows what would come up if you googled "underpants for hands".

Contender for best spam ever

I get a lot of spam comments on freelance theology. This one entertained me immensely:

This is NOT SPAM, all I am asking you to do is read this…PLEASE and pass it along. This is a TRUE UPDATE on the Gulf Coast BP Oil Spill!!

Have you ever heard of Whipple Van Ness Jones, III?
Probably not, unless you watch the CBS daytime soap opera The Bold and the Beautiful.

You see, according to Wikipedia….
Whipple Jones III is a fictional character on CBS’s daytime drama The Bold and the Beautiful. He had been portrayed by Rick Hearst from February 13, 2002 to August 29, 2002 and was absent for nearly seven years before returning to the show on July 17, 2009….
However, what they don’t tell you is that Whipple Van Ness Jones, III is a real person.
Whip resides in NW Florida with his wife, 3 children, and pets.
The problem is that when the BP oil spill happened Whip and his family lost their family business in Seaside, Florida the name of the store was Molly Caroline’s named after his two daughters Georgia Caroline and Molly Catherine (Whipple Van Ness Jones, IV wasn’t born yet when they opened their store).
Whip loved the idea that The Bold and the Beautiful named a character after him, he thought it was fun because obviously how else would they come up with the EXACT SAME NAME for the show.
Whip contacted the show early on (sent a copy of his birth certificate and drivers license), they didn’t offer any money (and Whip didn’t ask for any), just an autograph from the star portraying him.

The problem is NOT that Whip has a character on a show, the problem is Whip and his family lost their main source of income due to the BP oil spill.

Now when Whip applies for a job, and the employment places run a reference check on him and find a Wikipedia article calling Whip a fictional character on CBS’s daytime drama The Bold and the Beautiful, they claim he is using the name of a soap opera character…

What Whip did was start his own dot com….and is allowing people to post blogs on his site for free, just to show that he is a real person.
Google does give Whip a TINY amount to have ads on the right hand side of his webpage.
Please pass this along to your friends to show that Whipple Van Ness Jones, III is not only a real person, but a man trying to keep food on his family’s table.

Thank you!!
PS- Whip and his family did put in a claim with BP, they just haven’t heard anything yet. AS OF MARCH 24, 2011

PPS- Also, some people consider CBS to have BORDERLINE stolen Whip’s identity. Whip doesn’t see it this way, but how would you feel if you couldn’t get a job based on what Wikipedia says about you????

I don't even know what they want me to do about it.

Seems it's a fine line between saviour of humanity and humanity's darkest fears

Irony Boy sent me this the other day (see I credit people when I publish the stuff the send me, Ian...)





















Source

If you are thinking of picking a new religion

...then use this handy flowchart.

2 quibbles.
1) Jedi is not an option.
2) Why can't Jews like hummus?

1 ROFL.
I need to say how much I LOVE the alternative to 'atheism' and the question that gets you there.

Customer service

My mate Matt tipped me onto a hilarious blog containing real-life stories of the morons who are politely called customers. Check it out: Not Always Right

I've submitted my favourite ever story from when I worked at the cinema. I was on the concessions stand and a girl came up and said...

"I'd like a large cockporn please."

She then burst into embarrassed giggles. I looked down at my waist, shook my head sadly, and said...

"I think you're going to be disappointed..."

Cake wrecks

Matt put me on to the Cake Wrecks blog, which is just culinary art at it's most awful. But they also showcase some amazing cakes, like these wicked cupcakes, which I think are possible the coolest cakes I've ever seen!

And at the risk of seeming like a Dalek obsessive, check out the gallery of Dalek cakes to see some cake wreckery of such awesomeness it defies adequate description. I especially like the final line referencing Empire Strikes Back: "Bad Space Snake. Bad."

The meeping truth

This week's Basic Instructions strip is about the Muppets. Cathy, my Muppet-loving better half, will probably take offence, but I thought it was funny.

Actually I've just realised that calling Cathy my Muppet-loving better half implies that I'm a Muppet...

They might say it's the runner up, but IMO it's a win

Fail blog has launched 'Burn of the Week' for commenters who get slam-dunked by another commenter.

This week's runner up is one of the funniest things I've ever read. I was in work and I had my forehead on the desk I was laughing so hard.

Then I saw this selection of artwork and I couldn't stop laughing again. I guess if your brief in school is to "Finish the Picture" and you don't like drawing cats, then you just have to lump it. Or not. I'm pretty sure this response is a sign of wayward genius.

Other people's failure make me feel better

Irony Boy sent me a link to failblog. Oh how I laughed, particularly at "Satanism Fail". It's even better than Photoshop Disasters for mocking other people's mistakes.

Is it wrong that I enjoy laughing at things like this?

Matt Pugh as a dancing bear

If you know my buddy Matt, or even if you don't, you really need to watch this video.

(He's the very tall bear!)

Sarcasmo's back

Posting on Sarcasmo has been intermittent, but a couple of new funnies have been stuck up in the last couple of days. Check it out, especially Prince Caspian getting the Cylon Treatment!

Life is Mootiful

Check out what my buddy Matt has been up to at Life is Mootiful!


(and this was one of the ideas I came up with for him to use...)


At some point we're goign to have to sit down and discuss royalties!

Bee boop boo boo BEEP

Ever wondered how R2-D2 would pronounce your name? Type it into the R2-D2 translator and find out!

Brought to you by Jongudmund - cruising the web in work hours so you don't have to!

Insider's guide to depression

If you're interested in knowing what it feels like to be depressed, then you can read my story on the new Looking at Life site.

Also - check this out: peurile, but funny!

Jongudmund recommends

Here's a tip - check out one of the funniest sites I've been on in a while: Basic Instructions. These cartoons are often laugh out loud funny, because the dialogue is so razor sharp. ("There's no such thing as enough Mr Pibb")*

I also like the way the cartoonist, Scott Meyer, is dialoguing with his readers, experimenting in an open way with the strip and seeing if people notice/care/approve. He's also taken advice from Scott Adams, decided it hasn't worked, and then reverted back to what he does best - four panel formats. It takes guts to turn round to the world's most successful living cartoonist and say 'your advice isn't working for me', but to be fair, Scott has said the same thing.

Unfortunately, it seems the strip format which works will mean the strip won't get picked up by newspapers, which is a crying shame when you compare these 'toons with some of the drivel which passes for humour.

So that's my recommendation for you. Visit the site and prepare to laugh - particularly if you've ever wondered how you can be suave!

* Mr Pibb tastes like Dr Pepper, but is presumably named after a surgeon or a medical school drop out...

Does it work for you?

According to the chat up line predictor website, my killer line that would get the ladies swooning is:

“Soccer players can go for 90 minutes and know 11 different positions. Just
thought you should know that.”