What do yooooouuu collect?

Comedy conversation on Tuesday in work. People were talking about nerdy hobbies and one colleague mentioned they used to collect stamps, knowing full well I still do.

"Heeeey," I said, before acquiescing that yes, it is a bit of a nerdy hobby.

Another collegue then said, "Oh, I didn't know you were a phila, philander, no that's not right."

"No, I'm not a philanderer." (People, including me, descend into giggles.) "But, thanks."

"I'm sorry, I meant... I got the wrong word." (Giggles)

"I can see it now. You're going to be talking to someone in the kitchen and go 'Oh, yes, you know Jon, he's a mad keen philanderer.'"

"Oh I could say all sorts. 'His wife likes it because it keeps him quiet. He goes to special events and everything.'"

Oh, there's really a lot of work going on here...

I overheard this 'corridor conversation' the other day. I walked into the corridor and both dialoguing parties paused as if they were sharing some proprietary information, then after I walked past the conversation started up again like this:

"I think you'll find that often when a doctor regenerates..."

Anniversary

It seems fitting that for my 500th blog post I mention the 10th anniversary Thanksgiving Service we held recently for Fair Do's. I gave the address at the service, and if you'd like to read it, I've posted it up on freelance theology here. Enjoy.

Today is the sixth anniversary of Cathy's Dad's death, which is slightly shocking how fast the time has gone. In our team coffee break on Friday we were laughingly discussing how to make an impression with the in-laws, when someone asked me if I got on with my in-laws. It was awkward to know what to say, but I gently said 'Well, they're both dead.' Unfortunately there's no way gentle enough to say that without killing the conversation.

I do however have a sister-in-law, who I get on well with. In fact we're so close, we're much more like brother and sister. And like siblings do, we usually wind each other up until we want to punch each other. But, hey, that's family.

I'm sure you said...

Another one of those coffee time convos today.

Mark: I've got a diving lesson tonight.
Carol: I didn't know you couldn't drive.
Mark: DIVING lesson.

Conversation Starter

I work with a lull-avoider. If there's ever a gap in the conversation he'll make a random comment to get the chat flowing again.

Today he surpassed himself. After asking new dad Andy whether he'd had a good night sleep, there was a fraction-of-a-second pause, followed by:

"So, Pavarotti's dead."

Optimism

You know morale is bad when you have a conversation that runs something like this:

Team member 1: "Well it would be nice to be kept in the loop..."
Team member 2: "Instead of loop, think 'death spiral'."
Team member 3: "A noose is a loop."

Nutshell

A pithy phrase Matt coined today:

"We're cow-tipping sacred cows..."

And you're basing that observation on what exactly...?

I spent most my coffee break today talking to some guy who rang in oblivious to my need for caffeine and a chat. When I finally managed to end the call I turned back to our team's breaktime conversation to catch our head honcho start an observation with the line:

"I think the thing is with strippers these days..."

Shining wit

"I shouldn't joke about OCD, but I just can't help myself..."

That one made a couple of people laugh in the office.

You know it's time to go on a diet when...

.. you’re discussing your possible costume for the upcoming ‘multinational-themed’ Christmas do and you have a conversation like this:

“Actually, I’ve got some Japanese clothes that I could wear.”

“You could come as a sumo wrestler, Jon.”

Thanks for that.

I don’t know what people think I do in my spare time

I got back into the office today and walked right into the middle of a media problem. Someone has told assorted media types to phone us about something we don’t comment on. And there’s plenty of brown stuff hitting the fan and you-know-who is trying to clean it up.

In the middle of this chaos, I get this email from the person who inadvertently set the whole thing in motion, which says:

Also, on the subject of my press coverage, [your boss] wants a three-way with you, me and him poss on [suggested date]. Would you be able to set something like that up please?

I think the answer to that has to be no, doesn’t it?

A couple of classics

My head of department occasionally coins ‘Cooperisms’ – phrases that are destined to remain in the team vernacular until we get tired of them.

Today’s classics:
1) Following a discussion on musical theatre and someone else’s reminiscences about The Rocky Horror Picture Show…
“Isn’t that based on MacBeth?”
(this may very well become my staple answer to any comment made by a colleague over the next few days)

2) When trying to set a date for a recording session in an off-site studio…
“Well, if we can’t get December 9th, what about the 19th or the 25th?”
Humble serf: “Er… that’s Christmas…”