Because ten aren’t enough…
TV Snooker. People say it’s boring; I say it’s soothing. Especially late at night, when you’ve had a busy day and you want to watch something, but your brain also wants to go to sleep. The same also applies to live cricket.
Baiting people. Drop the bait and wait for someone to get riled, annoyed, pedantic, or whatever. There are few pleasures more pleasurable than watching someone get on their hobby horse and charge angrily off into the middle distance. It works both ways: e.g. “One of the reasons rugby is superior to football is that you never get rugby hooligans…” or “The problem with rugby is very basic: it’s just crap to watch…”
Joining in the rude songs at football matches. Okay, they’re childish, but a song like “Who the ----ing hell are you?” offers you a chance to swear for the greater good. Football is the glue that holds communities together. You’re contributing to social cohesion as you chant “sheep, sheep, sheep shaggers” at the opposition fans.
Hot Tamales. I know they’re no good for me, despite the slogan on the box: “A low fat candy!” But, oh, I love the taste.
Opening a pack of football stickers. Or any trading cards, really. It’s the frisson of the unknown, combined with happy memories of collecting stickers as a kid.
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