Stuff which drives me nuts

In no particular order…

• dining out with indecisive people who can’t pick a dish off a menu
• pfaffers who take an eternity to do anything
• people who have piles of junk in every room of the house
• the piles of my junk in every room of my house
• spiritualised church jargon
• arms sales subsidies
• time-wasting complaints letters
• coned off sections of motorways that don’t seem to be coned off for a reason
• rude boys in done up cars
• computer screenfreeze
• the belligerent guy in my street who gets antsy about “his” parking space
• spam
• people ruining a joke by getting the punchline all wrong
• The Da Vinci Code
• being expected to join in with office discussions of reality TV shows
• adverts which have nothing good to say about the product so claim the opposite sex will suddenly find you desirable for no good reason
• American Christian bigots
• British Christian bigots
• people who say, “I’m not racist, but…”
• easily offended imbeciles
• The Daily Mail’s annual rants about how they’re banning Christmas
• stupid people who could be smarter if they wanted to be
• you can’t draw a cartoon about Mohammed, but you can hold up placards calling for infidels to be beheaded
• when you’re asked for your opinion and then told why you’re wrong
• pointless makework
• it’s always sunny until I leave the office or a bank holiday comes along
• left-wing feminists sticking up for Muslim cultures which force women to wear burkhas
• ‘pass this on to ten friends to have good luck’ emails with some puke-worthy twee moral message about telling people how much you love them
• vegetarians who still eat chicken and fish – “You’re not vegetarians!”
• telemarketers asking for Mr Williams, who hasn’t been available on our phone number for seven years!
• God’s silence