Relapse and recovery

January this year was my 10th "diaversary", the anniversary of being diagnosed with type 2 diabetes. In a post in 2021, I wrote about being six years in recovery. I'd hoped to be able to write about being a decade in recovery, but unfortunately in April I was told that my diabetes was back.

I knew I had gained some weight. I hadn't realised quite how much. It was suggested I went back on metformin, the most common drug used to treat type 2 diabetes, but I am almost certain metformin caused my catastrophic depletion of vitamin B12 that has left me needing injections every 3 months. And I don't want to take pills every day. So I turned that down.

Instead I started being more mindful about my eating, cutting down snacks, choosing lower calorie options, exercising more and weighing myself weekly.

Six months to the day that I started recording my weight I had lowered my weight by 11kg (almost one and three quarter stone) and I got my blood test results back. (I had the blood test on the same day as another 'blood test' - my most recent Blood Bowl game!)

Blood test booboo 

Back in April my HbA1c - the measure of blood glucose in your blood that indicates whether you have diabetes - was 53, eleven points above the upper limit of "non-diabetic". My most recent result was 41 - back in the "non-diabetic range". 

A few things have helped me towards this. Cathy has been very supportive. We had good weather most of the summer, encouraging me to go out exercising. And in July I joined Plaid Cymru and have been out canvassing in a string of by-elections. I'd thoroughly recommend canvassing as a way of getting exercise, particularly in hilly places. (Hengoed, I'm talking about you!)

But I also want to have a mini-rant about how unhelpful some of my interactions with the health service have been. I'm saying this from a position of being in meeting after meeting where healthcare professionals have complained about how people disengage with their diabetes or don't follow medical advice. I understand their frustration but sometimes they make it bloody hard!

So, for example, in April, the practice nurse couldn't book me a follow up blood test for six months later. I was asked to phone up and book the test. That's a first point of potential failure - what if I forgot? If you don't want people to disengage, don't give them opportunities. 

But I didn’t forget. I phoned up and booked a blood test, explaining that the nurse had asked me to book it. A week before the test, I had a phone call from the surgery asking why I had booked the blood test. I explained again that six months ago the nurse had asked me to book the test. The evening before the test I had another phone call asking me - again - why I had booked the test. I explained again and said I had already explained it a week previously. I got a muttered explanation that nobody had written a note on the computer. 

Just an aside here, but I had a conversation on Facebook this week with a friend who is a GP who told me he didn't think GP systems could improve - the problem was too much demand on the system. But my GP surgery can waste time on two phone calls asking for information I had already provided them. 

Anyway, I had the test. A week later I phoned up and asked for the results. I was told by the receptionist that "everything's fine". I asked for my HbA1c number. "We can't give out test results because we aren't medically trained," they said.

I don't follow the logic of that. They can say "everything's fine" but can't tell you exactly how fine. But I've learned not to argue with the reception staff. They antagonise easily. 

So I asked what I had to do to find out my results. "You can request your results and we can print them off for you to collect. But it does take 48 hours," said the receptionist. "Great," I said, "I'd like to request my results, then."

Except then I was told I couldn't request my results over the phone. I would have to go into the surgery and fill out a form. 

I'd now reached a point where - to be frank - I'd had enough of their bullshit. So I walked angrily round to the surgery (yay, exercise!), got the form and filled it out in front of the receptionist who then tried to tell me results could take six weeks until I told them they had just told me 48 hours, at which point they agreed with me that it would be 48 hours. 

I phoned up three days later to check the results were available. They were, so I went in and picked them up.

Gotta admit, reading a score of 41 was even sweeter after overcoming the bureaucratic barriers to get hold of it!

Thing is, I'm an engaged person living with a diabetes diagnosis, and doing what healthcare professionals say they want everyone diagnosed with diabetes to do - actively take charge of their health and reverse their diabetes. And yet, it feels like it was unecessarily difficult for me to get the information I wanted. It was a blood test and a test score. It shouldn't have needed multiple phone conversations and forms to get that.

So, where to now? I want to keep the weight off. I'm enjoying feeling comfier in my clothes. I can get back into my favourite suit without it feeling tight. I'm hoping if I can maintain my current weight I will maintain my non-diabetic range HbA1c. I'd like to still be in recovery at my next diaversary, and the one after that, and the one after that. 

I call it "recovery" deliberately. It's not a permanent reversal or remission. It's a state I need to maintain, like sobriety for people with addiction issues. The little choices I make every day add up and matter. I don't take it for granted that I have recovered from type 2 diabetes - twice - and plan to be more careful from now on. 

Caerffili election reflection

The dust is settling after Plaid Cymru's win in the Senedd by-election in Caerphilly. Several days after the election my friend Anna asked me if I was going to blog about it, and I said it was on my list of things to do. At this rate, I think I might be the last commentator to pass comment. 

Senator Whittle a few days before the win

There are some headline takeaways. It's the first time Plaid Cymru have won in Caerphilly. Lindsay Whittle, Plaid Cymru's candidate, was standing for the 14th time in an election. It's the first election in a hundred years in Caerphilly that hasn't been won by Labour.

Oh, and Reform lost. By a considerable margin in the end. 

Turnout was high - 50% of the electorate, which was higher than in the last Senedd election. Reform tend to get people who don't usually vote to vote for them, but this time it seems like they encouraged a lot of people to venture out and vote for their main opponent.

Although they've put a brave spin on it, this was a major slap backwards for Reform. They expected to win. They had their victory party booked. Nigel had been to town a couple of times to gee up the locals with his anti-immigration dogwhistles. Reform's media cheerleaders had made the story all about them. And Reform had certainly splashed the roubles trying to get that seat in the Senedd. My friend Ben sent me pictures of all the leaflets and Reform churned out loads!

But Plaid Cymru won. Wales won. 

It's annoying that the media coverage seems to have been a) Reform came second, b) Labour got battered in a safe heartland seat, c) er, Plaid Cymru won.

Although... without the Reform angle, I'm not sure how much interest there would have been in this. I doubt the result - and Lindsay's name - would have been reported in the New York Times. I doubt (K)GB News would have had pundits staying up all night waiting for the result. (They were, apparently, quite disappointed.)

The following day this was circulating on social media. It summed up how a lot of people felt.

My main feeling was relief. I went to bed on Thursday night in a high level of anxiety. On Friday morning when I checked my phone I felt close to crying. Politics has been so relentlessly grim recently it felt so alien to be happy at an election result. 

I had reason to be anxious. I had been canvassing in Caerphilly a few times and the number of Reform placards and posters had increased over time. People said they were thinking of voting for them or were very coy on the doorsteps, which I interpreted as planning to vote Reform but being embarrased to admit it. There was fear too. An Asian family who ran a shop said the rise of Reform made them feel afraid for the first time about living in Caerphilly. I hope they celebrated the Plaid Cymru win.

Canvassing wasn't always easy. I got soaked to the skin in Ystrad Mynach. But the result makes it worth it. 

Ystrad Mynach before the deluge

The general consensus among people I've talked to is that this election isn't a very reliable indicator of how the Senedd election next year will go. This was a straight 'first past the post' election and, like many other commentators, I have a feeling people chose to vote Plaid Cymru as they had the best chance of beating Reform. As I said back in August after the Grangetown council election, it's hard to make floating voters stick. 

But hope springs eternal. Caerphilly's new Senedd member is a great advocate for his home town and the surrounding communities. I hope the people who voted for him see that and choose to vote for him again in May next year. 

Book of the Month: The Poverty of Growth

I picked this up because it intrigued me when I saw it in the half price section of my favourite bookshop - and when better to buy a book on economics than when it's half price?

The author, Olivier de Schutter, is the United Nations Special Rapporteur on extreme poverty and human rights. If you don't know what that means, neither did I. Basically, it means the UN Human Rights Council regard him as an independent expert on a given topic. He has previously been a special rapporteur on the right to food and also worked for the International Federation for Human Rights.

This book persuasively attacks the pervading political obsession with "growth" as the only economic metric that matters. Olivier says that still may be the case for nations with undeveloped infrastructures and economies, but for the developed world it is disastrous on many levels and leading swiftly to irreversible damage to the environment. 

'Growthism' is the belief that growing GDP is the way to reduce poverty. However, this belief seems misguided, based on the evidence of what is actually happening in the world. 

Instead, Olivier mainly takes aim at wealth inequality, which he regards as the main cause for poverty in the developed world, and is mainly due to the doctrine of growthism. Deregulated economic growth in the developing world is also fueling wealth inequity and actively contributing to extreme poverty in many countries.

Equity is an alternative metric for measuring economic "success". 'Growth' doesn't deliver better lives for the majority of people, unless it is very carefully directed in ways designed to limit extreme wealth and make sure all the benefits of growth are shared equally. Otherwise people just end up working harder, for less money in real terms, and in less stable employment.

A 'post-growth' approach is outlined focusing on key friction points in the economy such as energy use and food. Olivier is quite clear - inequity leads to poverty, inefficiency and environmental degradation. 

It's a compelling case and hard to argue against. It certainly made me think differently about 'the economy' and how it's talked about in the media.

Blood themed Friday

A blood test and Blood Bowl - what a day. 

The blood test was a routine follow up to see whether I have been able to have an impact on my diabetes. Since being told my diabetes was back six months ago I have been mindful of what I am eating and doing more exercise. So far I have lost over 10 kilograms and am back to the weight I was when I originally recovered from diabetes 10 years ago. 

There are some added bonuses to losing weight. Walking is easier. More of my clothes fit me, including my favourite suit that I was able to wear last week for a situation where I wanted to wear a suit. But the main aim is to get my blood glucose back to where I want it. I will find out next week whether it's worked. 

It wasn't too painful. We have some good phlebotamists working out of our local surgery. She patched it up very securely. 

And so on to Blood Bowl. Firstly, a word on the game snack situation. I took a risk and bought a new snack - gingerbread flavour Doritos. 

I was dubious but curious. Bryan, my Blood Bowl opponent, was dubious but curious. Elaine, Bryan's wife was dubious but curious. 

We all liked them. They have a proper gingery taste. They aren't too sweet. You could probably try them with a dip of some kind. Definitely the best novelty Christmas-themed snack I've tried and the first where they have got the gingerishness right in a 'gingerbread flavour'.

The game itself was a weird one. We used the same teams as last month: skaven v lizardmen. I had permission from Bryan to start with both my  two star players, Hakflem Skuttlespike and Glart Smashrip. However, Nuffle, the capricious demigod of Blood Bowl, had other ideas and Hakflem ended up in the seriously injured box on the very first turn.

Despite that setback, the skaven scored twice in the first half. Their gutter runners breaking through the lines of lizards and running in two downs. 

There was a rat on the pitch in the Wales international game last Monday and someone nicknamed it Joe Rodent after Joe Rodon, the Wales player. I've decided to call one of my gutter runners Joe Rodent when I get round to naming them. 

I moved Glart after the restart. Instead of having him stuck in a face off with Roxy the Kroxigor all game, I put him out on the wing, where he caused mayhem clobbering smaller opponents. 

Unusually for a skaven performance, my team ended up inflicting more injuries than they sustained, with six lizardmen players injured during the game. This unbalanced the lizardmen team as it was the smaller, faster, more agile players that got battered and had to leave the field leaving the lumbering saurus players to try and do everything. The second half turned into an ongoing melee in a small area of the pitch.

When the ball finally broke free I only had one turn to go and just could not get a player into the end zone. 

Bryan had dreadful luck with his dice rolls during the game. He got away with a foul, but that didn't cause any injuries. He had players flub picking up the ball. Injuring Hakflem was the high point of his game. Nuffle giveth and Nuffle taketh away, as they say. (Mainly taketh!)

Final score: skaven 2-0 lizardmen

Saturday in Swansea for the Plaid Cymru Conference

This was day two of Plaid Cymru's main annual conference, held at the Brangwyn Hall in Swansea. I was working yesterday so missed day one, although I did watch the livestream of leader Rhun ap Iorweth's keynote speech. 

I enjoyed the whole shebang, from voting on motions, to the packed out fringe meeting about local government, to listening to speeches announcing policy commitments, to the conversation about Cardiff Dracs with the staff member on the FAW stand in the exhibition hall.

One of the highlights was a speech by Lindsay Whittle, who is the Plaid Cymru candidate for the Caerphilly by election. Lindsay's authentic passion shone through. 

Lindsay shared stories of how his family were affected by the terrible and deadly mining industry, and dismissed the ignorant suggestions from Reform UK about reopening the mines. I'm proud to have been canvassing for Lindsay up in Caerphilly these past couple of weeks. He is a candidate with a pure love for his community that is inspiring.

Rhun did an interview on stage with Elin Jones. I was struck by the line that people have a choice in next year's Senedd election of "a vision with Plaid Cymru or division with the other parties". Overall, like his speech yesterday, there was a message of hope and taking positive steps towards a better, more inclusive society. 

The concluding speech, by Liz Saville Roberts, one of Plaid Cymru's MPs in Westminster, was very upbeat too. She talked about the openness and generous compassion of Wales in a moving way, showing how 'national pride' can be inclusive and welcoming. 

And one of the best things was spending most of the day with Sara - it's been ages since we have sat next to each other through a conference. 

We introduced each other to people we knew, and that was another lovely aspect of the day - saying hello to people who came canvassing in Grangetown or who I've been out knocking doors with in Caerphilly, and making new friends too. 

And I even got an official FAW logo badge for my collection of football badges! (It was my one freebie from the exhibition.

Football upgrade

I don't usually do one off match reports, but today's Cardiff Draconians game was a bit special. In the week they had two new stands delivered for the Orange Llama Stadium.

New stand selfie

I made Nick pose for a selfie too

In a quirk of scheduling, the Dracs' previous home game was against the same opponents as today: Cwmbran Celtic. Two weeks ago they played each other in the Welsh Cup. 

A fortnight on from these teams meeting in the cup and it was a case of deja vu, with the Dracs trailing 1-0 at half time and then coming back to win. But there were some changes - the new stands being the main one. And it wasn't pouring down with rain this time despite Storm Amy doing her worst. (We had a squirrel pitch invader at one point and he could well have been blown out of a tree!)

Cwmbran's goal was a bit flukey; a lob from a tight angle that went in. 9/10 times it would have ended up anywhere but in the net. The striker didn't have any other options but to go for it and maybe it was wind-assisted. I don't think the visitors had another attempt on target all game. Dracs had several chances. Low crosses on the six yard line went begging. A certain goal was cleared off the line. And so on.

Just before half time the Cwmbran goalscorer came off worst in a collision with the metal guard rail. He didn't reappear for the second half. Dracs made a change too, bringing on their number 9, Sam "Robbo" Roberts. He changed the game, charging onto two long balls and slotting them home to put the Dracs 2-1 up. 

The Dracs then kept fluffing really good chances to make the game safe, despite having a player advantage after the Cwmbran captain got shown a straight red card for an off the ball elbow. The last couple of minutes saw the Dracs really having to dig in to defend their lead and keep hold of all three points.

This win means the Dracs have taken 16 points from their last 6 league games. With other results going their way and some games being cancelled they are now up to fourth in the table, which is one slot below the promotion places. This is much better than anything I expected at the start of the season when I bought my season ticket.

And we didn't even get rained on.

National Poetry Day - "We are the Generation: X"

As it was National Poetry Day yesterday, here's a poem I started writing earlier this year. It's loosely based on a conversation I had with my schoolfriend Georgie, about the tendencies of people that align with the rough categorisation of 'Generation X'. It's been noted that people born in this cohort are statistically less likely to have children than the generations before and after them, are more likely to experience depression, are more likely to end their own lives, and so on. 

There is a working theory this is delayed trauma operating on a genetic level; a holdover from the tremendous stress of living through the Second World War, which was carried in the ova of women born immediately after the war, many of whom because the mothers of Generation X from the mid 60s onwards. I'm not sure how much I believe any of that. But it intrigues me. 

Another aspect of this is the memory of the pre-internet, Armageddon-anticipating era that I grew up in. I remember the books in the school library that went into detail about how much damage a nuclear bomb would cause, and, of course there was Where the Wind Blows by Raymond Briggs. Most science fiction was dystopic and every future in 2000AD was post-apocalyptic. We replaced Dan Dare with Judge Dredd and everyone thought that was normal. 

And, if you weren't going to die in the nuclear apocalypse, you were going to die of AIDS. The 80s were a great decade to grow up in, don't let anyone tell you otherwise. 

Anyway, it's all grist to the poetic mill. Here's the poem:

We are the Generation: X

We are the Generation: X

Stolen love and poisoned sex

We are the Generation: X

We are the Generation: X

No guiding stars or sacred texts

Dystopic dreaming solo treks  

We are the Generation: X

We are the Generation: X

Dancing to our doombeat hex

Genetic trauma atom wrecks

Reflective flexes so complex

We are the Generation: X

We are the Generation: X

Cynics as we cash our checks

Embrace the boots upon our necks

Our vicissitudes are misdirects

From the dread of what comes next

We are the Generation

X

Read more of my poems and stories on this index page

Pigeons and politics - September 2025 review of the month

I haven't blogged much this month because I've been too busy to blog! But I did post about Cathy and I celebrating our 27th wedding anniversary with some on-ice punch ups watching Cardiff Devils, as well as our visit to the new Lego Shop. Plus, you can catch up on my Book of the Month (about riotous protests in the 19th Century) and my Blood Bowl match report from my 10th game of the year with Bryan. 

I also had a trip to Glasgow with work. One thing I noticed on my fleeting overnight visit is Glasgow has some of the biggest pigeons ever! They're also honoured with street art. 

Also, it appears the Doctor has got lost.

Before my all day meeting started I made it to the local Celtic Shop to pick up a couple of pin badges for my growing sports badge collection.

My main focus this month has been canvassing. There is a by-election in Caerphilly and I've been up a couple of times to support the campaign efforts.

Sara was also canvassing so we got to work together, which was really lovely.

More locally, we have started canvassing at stations during the morning commuter rush. This has mainly been me and Anna, one of the candidates in our area for the Senedd elections next year. 

I find canvassing fun. I've had lots of friendly conversations with people and it's really good exercise! (I think it's really helped me lose weight as that was my goal since getting some negative health news in April - at my end of September weigh in I had lost 10kg, which is over a stone).

In other political news I went to the Yes Caerdydd AGM where I had agreed to run a quiz. Cathy helped me put together the questions, including a brilliant picture round of famous dragons! (Well it is for Yes Cymru!) 

Jack and Elin were the winning team and had prizes of Yes Cymru tea towels along with the trophy.

In other social news, I had a very late opportunity to see the lad Connor as he made a rapid-fire visit to the Diff. We went out for French toast brunch and caught up on life. It was lovely to see him. 

The football season continues. I went to four senior level games in the month. Cardiff Dracs beat Aberystwyth in their first home win in the Cymru South for the Dracs.

It was also my 25th match at the Dracs ground.

My friend Rhys was there and made a video all about his personal connection with Gabalfa and the Dracs. If you skip forward to about 9 minutes in you'll see my cameo. 

The win over Aberystwyth was part of an unbeaten September for the Dracs. I couldn't get to all their games but I did see them beat Cwmbran Celtic in the Welsh Cup and win away at Llantwit Major.

Here's the windmill that is the reason Llantwit Major play at a ground called Windmill Lane. 

My other game this month was a disappointing defeat for Shrewsbury against Salford City. However, my youngest niece came with us and was very excited to meet the mascots!

I also caught up with my friend Jim and his lad, Nic.

A new independence movement has started! 

My footballing highlight of the month was the day after the Shrewsbury game when I watched my eldest nephew Zac play for his juniors team. He scored 4 goals in a 6-2 rout and was Man of the Match.

We have some more travels planned for this month and I'm hoping that might include another opportunity to watch Zac play. Find out next month whether I make it!