from Pantperthog to Knockando

Wednesday, May 01, 2013

If there are a lot of me, then I'm a lucky one

Last year I returned to a medicated state and started taking anti-depressants to combat increased levels of anxiety. As has happened when I was previously on a-ds, the thing I noticed is that going on the drugs and trying to wean off them are both accompanied by bizarre night-time brain activity.

To say, at my age, that I have bad dreams seems a bit childish. But the transition from a very real-feeling unreality to a thankfully mundane reality can be difficult some mornings. Like this morning I dreamt that a comet or meteor had collided with Earth and that I was one of the people who had survived. Remnants of the comet were still raining down, so if you went outside you had to hold your hands above your head to protect yourself - it would work for the smaller rocks. If a big one hit you, that was it.

I had to travel from ruined house to ruined house checking on people, and inbetween each one shielding my head from falling comet debris. When I woke up I felt stressed, harassed, and kind of numb as if I'd just been pulled out of a dangerous situation and was now back home and at a loss of what to do. A Hurt Locker moment.

Although they are weird scenarios, dreams like this often have their own internal logic and very specific details, which makes them feel more real than the dreams I have without the pharmacueticals in my system.

I'm interested in the idea of a multiverse. It's intriguing to think there may be other versions of myself out there, living in all kinds of alternative scenarios. I wonder sometimes, if we are all connected. Do I dream their lives? Do they dream mine? Is there a psychic scream that crosses those universe boundaries at times of great stress - is that why I dream do much of being in danger, feelign afraid, facing death?

If my dreams are insights into other realities, then I'm glad I wake up in this one.

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1 Comments:

At 10/5/13 21:45, Blogger videomonkey said...

I think you've got an idea for a movie there, Jon!

 

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